


I Knew You Would Rescue Me

by Elenhin



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Challange response, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 14:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/992987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenhin/pseuds/Elenhin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A response to a challenge posted at http://almighty-kink.livejournal.com/820.html?thread=233524#t233524.</p><p>Anders has been captured by the god hunters, and tortured. The main problem for him being that no one really missed him enough to find out where he was, or even that he was gone. Something I could not resist writing after reading  The Fool On The Hill by Aramirandme81. An amazing answer to the same challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note:This is a response to a challenge where Anders is captured by god hunter, and where his family sort of do not miss him. Something that makes him quite unhappy. 
> 
> Warning: The warning is placed here for vinsmouse, who wanted a spew warning here, claiming it might be a bad idea to drink while reading the funnier parts. So please keep in mind that drinking any kind of beverage while reading this, might be hazzard'ous to the health of your screen.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Almighty Johnsons, nor any other stray Norse Gods found in said show. Anders assures me that in spite of popular belief he is not a dwarf, though my three inch high Fili and Kili does not quite appear to agree with him. Anders is also under protection of Kili and no permanent harm will come to him in my fanfic stories.

I Knew You Would Rescue Me

Chapter 1

‘Mike will rescue me.’

‘Good thing about Mike being such a fucking goody two shoe, it doesn’t matter if he’s pissed, he’ll rescue me. Those bastards don’t know who they’re dealing with. God of the fucking hunt, they can’t hide from him, he’ll find me.’

‘Might not act it, but he’s fucking Odin for gods sake, so what if he started out running from Thor like a wimp. He’s Odin, Odin for real, and he stood up to Thor, when Thor started pounding on me. He wouldn’t let Thor kill me, he won’t let those bastards kill me. I know he’s pissed at me for Gaia, but he won’t let them kill me…’

‘He’s my brother, my fucking brother, doesn’t matter if he’s not a god anymore. I got beat up for trying to help him with bullies. We’d both get our arses kicked then. He’s my brother for fucks sake…’ 

‘Don’t know how they can hide from Ullr, but they can’t forever, god of the fucking hunt…’ 

‘Dawn, she’s gotta be pissed by now, good old Dawn, don’t know why she puts up with me, Bragi or not. Bragi’s not enough, she cares. She shouldn’t care about such a fucking bastard but she does. She cares…’

‘Anytime you want now Mike, anytime. Mike?’ 

‘How the fuck can these fucking bastards keep themselves hidden from Ullr? He’s the fucking god of finding bastards, he could always find me. Why doesn’t he come?’ 

‘Gods, this rotten hole stinks of apples, fucking rotten apples. Not even any left or at least I wouldn’t be starving, don’t ever want to smell a fucking apple ever again.’ 

‘You are Odin, king of all gods, I know I screwed your girl, fuck, I was balls deep in her, but I’m your brother, you gonna let them kill me?’ 

‘What are they telling you? I know you’re wondering where I am, always do when I don’t show up at work. Always find me and make me work. I’d rather work. What did they tell you? Or did you finally have enough and quit now? Walked out and the office is empty? Please don’t…’ 

‘Mike?’ 

‘Oh gods Axl, what did I do to you that you’d leave me to this? Why the fuck couldn’t Michele just let me die? Better than this, so much better than this. Even Olaf and Ty laughing is better than this.’

‘Olaf? Even you? Didn’t think, thought you’d always care. You don’t? I’m not worth it anymore? I screwed up so bad even you don’t want me anymore? Then why the fuck did you sound so worry when I was dying, if you really don’t care?’ 

‘Mike, please… I knew you’d come, but, Mike? Why?’

Michele was just about to finish her shift when one of the nurses came up to her, her steps hurried and a serious look on her face. It all made Michele wish she’d seen her first, in time to get the hell out of there before she had another patient to deal with. 

“We had a patient come in a couple of hours or so before,” Anna stated. “But we don’t have any idea what happened, won’t talk to anyone, in shock, won’t let anyone touch him. Looks like robbery and battery or something.” 

“My shift is over,” Michele pointed out. “And I didn’t intend to work overtime today.” 

“I know, who wants to,” Anna snorted. “But can you at least take a look? I think you’ve treated him once or twice before, it took some doing since he’s not talking, but we managed to identify him. Anders Johnson?” 

“I know him,” she admitted. “Stupid idiot, and a man whore so he probably screwed with the wrong person.” 

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Anna snorted. “But we don’t have a choice but try to treat him, so, could you have a look?” 

“Fine, I’ll let him know it’ll just be worse if he doesn’t cooperate,” she decided. She meant to read him the riot act, to let him know exactly what she thought about him. 

She changed her mind when she walked into the examination room. 

Anders sat on the bed, back held rigid and head hanging low. There was dried blood around his mouth and on his chin, dried flecks of it just showing on his neck. He was clutching a blanket around himself in a death grip and didn’t even stir when she came in. His face was covered in cuts and bruises and the blanket didn’t cover his legs. Long gashes on the bare legs, feet swollen and badly cut. From the bruising alone she could guess at some of the damage done. She was willing to bet on at least two broken toes and a proper examination just might reveal more, reveal worse. 

“Anders?” she called softly but he didn’t react. His head was bobbing up and down in a strange manner. One hand letting go off the blanket to touch his ear, then he dug the finger in viciously. A cut must have re-opened for the next she knew she saw blood trickle from his ear. 

“Anders?” she called a little louder, mover closer and he looked up, eyes falling on her as he fell back with a panicked scream. 

“Anders, calm down,” she raised her hands. “Anders, what’s going on?” 

Anders swallowed hard, turning his head to look at her. He was visibly shaking so she approached slowly. “What’s going on Anders?” she wanted to know. This was not Anders being a dick, this was something being seriously wrong with him. Looking up at her he swallowed hard, then he touched his jaw with the fingertips of his right hand. There was a massive bruising there, so she figured that he didn’t want to speak on account of it being painful. 

“If I get you a pen and paper, can you write?” she asked and he gave a small nod. 

There were writing materials in the examination room so she simply put it in front of him and he took the pen, fingering it carefully. 

“We both know I think you’re a fucking dick, but you look awful enough to make me feel sorry for you,” she stated. “So what happened Ander?” 

He frowned, touching pen to paper and it fell from his grip. Picking it up again he wrote slowly and painfully. ‘I did not tell them anything.’ 

She moved to stand beside him so she could read, but it didn’t make sense. 

“Tell who what? The other doctor?” she frowned. 

‘God hunter.’

That was enough to make her curse. She thought they’d taken care of all those sick bastards. “Did one of those freaks get to you?” It would make sense, Anders couldn’t fight worth shit, Mike was the first one to say so. If one of them, any of them had gotten to Anders they’d be able to work him over good. Even one of the girls could probably take the small man on. He gave a small nod, dropping his eyes. 

“Well, then I see why you look the way you do,” she stated. “I think I even might feel a little sorry for you. Can’t say I mind having you shut up for once though. Makes things go a lot more smoothly,” she grinned. “You want me to let Mike know?” 

His head snapped up then, a scared look on his face for some reason. 

‘Is he still looking?’ he wrote though his hand was starting to ache, Michele could tell the pen nearly slipped from his grip again. 

“What would he be looking for?” she asked. “He’s at home working.” She bit her lip when she saw the look on Anders face. “You though he’d be looking for you?” He averted his eyes which was enough to let her know that yes, Anders had expected Mike to look for him. 

“We didn’t know anyone got hold of you,” she found herself explaining. “When did it happen anyway, yesterday?” 

Anders appeared to shrink down in front of her very eyes then, his head dropped as if he no longer had the strength to hold it up, his shoulders slumped and she could see the moisture forming in his eyes. 

“Anders?” she grasped his shoulder lightly. “I’ll call Mike and he can come here right away, okay?” 

She had expected him to agree with that, Anders was a wimp who wanted his big brother to come and save him. To her surprise he shook his head though. 

“You don’t want me to call Mike?” 

Again he shook his head, dropping the pen to cradle his arm to his midsection. She found that odd, very odd. Anders was the one who always tried to play for sympathy when he was hurt, and now for once he had a genuine reason. 

“Alright, well, let’s start sorting you out,” she decided. “We’ve done enough of this, I need to see how bad you’re hurt.” She started to slip the blanket from his shoulders and frowned when he resisted. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me see. If you’re gonna be a baby about it, I’m gonna call Mike,” she told him firmly and he shuddered. He did however allow her to remove the blanket and as soon as she saw his chest she stared cursing loudly. A cross had been cut into his chest over his heart. Wicked deep gashes that oozed pus. 

“Did those fucking bastards do this?” she demanded angrily. No matter what kind of prick Anders could be, this was far beyond a beating. This was torture. “Why the fuck would they do that?” she demanded, furious, and Anders shied back. He looked scared and given the evidence on his chest Michele tried to calm down. 

“Why did they do that?” she asked him more calmly. 

‘Drive the devil out,’ he swallowed again. 

“Those fucking bastards!” she spat. “I don’t care what you did Anders, that, that, it’s fucking inhuman,” she spat. “What more did they do?” 

Anders hesitated, she could tell. Then he dropped his eyes as he focused on the paper in front of him. 

‘Bragi, god of poetry, words.  
Two-tongued snake, false words, lies.  
Show me for what I am.’

It didn’t make sense to her, but she felt the dread build up in her stomach as she read the words again, trying to understand what he was telling her. With her stomach a pit of ice she put a hand on his chin, easing his mouth open. 

The sign of the cross carved into her chest was enough to make her burn with rage, what she saw when she looked into his mouth was nearly enough to make her sick. The reason he hadn’t spoken was not that they had broken his jaw. They had cut his tongue. 

From the back of his mouth, to the tip of his tongue they had cut it, a long slit down the middle. 

Two-tongued snake, show me for what I am. 

They had cut his tongue to be forked, like a snake, to stop the lies. To stop the words of Bragi. 

She was raging so that Anders wrapped his arms around himself with a whimper, frightened by her but she couldn’t calm down. She’d seen horrible injuries and she had seen patients die, but this was the first time she saw the evidence of torture. 

Realizing how terrified he was she forced herself to calm down, but it was an effort. 

“Anders, I need to call Mike, he needs to know this,” she started but his head snapped up and he shook his head. 

“Those fucking bastards needs to pay for this, Mike needs to know. Do you even realize what the fuck those bastards has done to you?” She could have kicked herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Of course he knew, if anyone knew Anders did and no matter what she saw looking at him now she could never fully comprehend it. “Mike needs to know,” she insisted but he shook his head. 

‘Mike never came,’ the letters were suddenly so much shakier and harder to read. 

“He didn’t know Anders,” she sighed. “You know he would have if he had known, but he didn’t. When did they get you, yesterday?” Given the fact that the wound on his chest had had time to get infected it must have been at least a day. 

Once more the look on his face betrayed what he was feeling. 

“When did it happen?” she pressed, apparently more than a day for Anders to look so frightened. 

‘Don’t know, days, weeks,’ he wrote slowly. 

Michele just stared at him in utter disbelief. 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn learns more about what has happened, and Michele learns more about Dawn.

Chapter 2

Communicating with Anders was painfully slow. He’d freeze up in fear and panic if she reacted with anger and his hand pained him so that it was hard for him to write. At one point he dropped the pen and wrapped his arms around himself , rocking back and forth. She had asked about the broken toes and found it was to keep him from escaping. He had tried to escape but they caught him and broke his toes with a hammer. His body was covered in knife cuts, burns and bruises. She could tell when she found some half healed that his estimation of having been held for weeks was not wrong. All he could tell about where he had been held was that it was in some cellar that smelled strongly of apples. A small dark room underground where he had been thrown a couple of blankets against the chill. He couldn’t give her any details, but she figured the blankets had probably saved him from pneumonia. 

She also found that any unexpected touch would send him into a near panic, and so did the suggestion of calling Mike, or any of his brothers there. 

He felt abandoned she figured. No one had looked for him, no one had known he was missing and now he couldn’t stand the thought of his family seeing him. In his panicked state though she was worried about treating him. She had sent Mike a text saying she would be late coming home, but no more out of respect for his wish. 

Now she was at a loss of what to do. “Anders, we need to get you treated now, and you need to be calm for that. If you won’t have Mike here, is there someone?” 

She had already tried to give him a shot, but even though he knew her he couldn’t take it. He had started shaking and whimpering until she removed the needle from sight. If it had been any other patient she would have simply stepped in and given the injection, but right now she could not do that to him. 

Grabbing his file from the desk she eyed through it, hoping for a clue of what to do. It was a surprise to her to find that his emergency contact listed wasn’t Mike but Dawn. Then again she imagined it made sense if it was written back when the brothers had no contact with each other. 

The fact that the only person he felt he could trust was his secretary was enough to cause a painful lump in her throat. He had three brothers, a grandfather and his secretary, and they were the only people in his life. 

“If I called Dawn, and she came here, would that help?” she asked softly and Anders looked up startled, then gave a tiny nod. 

“I’ll just be a second Anders, it’ll be alright. I’ll just be right outside,” she told him softly. 

Dawn picked up right away, and when she found out it was Michele demanded instantly to know where Anders was. She didn’t know the other woman but knew she was connected to Mike and therefore to Anders.

As much as Michele hated to upset her she was glad that Dawn cared so much. Anders really needed someone who cared about him and it was obvious that Dawn did. Her shock and anger when Michele gave her the brief version of what had happened to Anders was enough to make that clear. It also made Michele realize that it was not just because of Bragi that Dawn did care. No doubt Anders had used Bragi on her plenty of times, but even so Dawn cared a great deal for Anders as himself, no matter how flawed the small man was. 

Dawn was there quicker than Michele had expected, storming in with a look of thunder on her normally sweet face. 

Anders had the blanket around himself again, his head hanging low and Michele saw how Dawn forced herself into a semblance of calm as she stepped into the room. 

“Anders, I’ve been so worried about you,” she breathed, stepping over to him and reaching out her hand towards him though she did not touch. “God Anders, who did this to you?” when he glanced up she put an arm around his shoulders and Anders nearly fell into her arms. A small choked sob escaped him, then another, and he was crying. Unable to stop now that he finally felt a semblance of safety. 

At least with Dawn there he calmed down enough Michele could hand him over for treatment. Though Anders was sedated first, Michele recommended it and Anders gave his consent. Given how neither Michele nor Dawn could really follow she was too concerned about him panicking during treatment. With Dawn holding him he tolerated the injection, but he was trembling and made a choked sound as he felt the prick of the needle. Dawn kept her arm around him, speaking soothingly until he lost consciousness. 

While they waited Michele took Dawn with her to the cafeteria so they could both grab a cup of coffee. 

“Who did that to him?” Dawn demanded. She was deeply shaken by what she had seen. Never could she have imagined that Anders would be so vulnerable. 

“I don’t know,” Michele admitted. 

“I’ve called Mike several times,” Dawn went on. “Anders hasn’t shown up for work for about two weeks. I couldn’t reach him, and Mike just said he was off doing something, and now this? What the fuck is going on here?” 

“I don’t think Mike knew,” Michele admitted. “I haven’t really, that is to say, none of us has really spoken to Anders for some time,” she finished. They hadn’t really, not since he sort of died after Axl threw him. 

“But I asked Mike, I spoke to him and he said Anders was away, but he can’t have been. The way he looked now, when did that happen?” Dawn demanded. She wanted an explanation and she didn’t care if Michele wasn’t the one to give it. She still wanted it and she would not be denied. 

“I don’t know how much anyone has told you, but Anders hasn’t really been popular amongst his brothers right now,” Michele admitted. 

“So they just didn’t care he was kidnapped and tortured, why was he kidnapped and tortured,” Dawn glared into her coffee. “How the hell could they not care he was missing?” 

“It’s complicated,” Michele sighed. “Look, this isn’t my place to explain, but I’ll do my best anyway. Anders managed to get himself involved with Axl’s girlfriend, though the fault wasn’t entirely his.” 

“But I assume everyone is giving him the full blame anyway,” Dawn snorted. “I know how Anders is, believe me I know. But he really cares for Axl, I know he does. He’d never intentionally hurt him. Not for a woman, he can get just about any woman he wants, he wouldn’t do that to Axl just to get laid.” 

Michele nodded slowly. “You’re right, he wouldn’t, and he didn’t. What happened was something he really had no control over, and he’s already paid for it I guess. Axl, well, kind of lost control and knocked him out pretty good.” 

“So why didn’t anyone care he was missing!” Dawn demanded angrily. “He could have been killed, would they have cared then? Tell me that!” 

“I’m going to wait until I know Anders is okay for now, then I’m going to demand some answers myself,” Michele stated. “I’m not exactly blameless either in this. Mike never told me you had been looking for Anders, but I was there for the fight with Axl. I should have made sure he was okay.” 

“Yes you should,” Dawn stated matter of fact. She was not out to place blame, but she was furious about what had been going on. 

“Did you know you are Anders’ emergency contact?” Michele suddenly asked out of curiosity. 

“I knew I was,” she stated. “He didn’t tell me, but I found out while he still didn’t really have any contact with his brothers before. He got pretty sick, so I had to take him to the hospital. I thought his brothers should know, but I didn’t know how to reach them, and when they checked his file he’d listed me. I thought he had changed that when they got back together, but now I think I understand why he didn’t.” 

“I’m actually glad he’s got you now,” Michele admitted. “It’s going to take some time before they are finished, longer before you can see him. But I really don’t want him to wake up alone right now, could you stay?” 

“Try to stop me,” she stated firmly. 

By the time a nurse came to find them they had already had too many cups of coffee. They had talked some, but not very much. Dawn was too worried and too mad while Michele found she shared pretty much the same feelings. The nurse handed her a file and he thanked her briefly before she started to read it. 

“Does that have something to do with Anders?” Dawn wanted to know. 

“Yes,” Michele confirmed. “Normally as he’s not my patient I wouldn’t be privy to it, but given the circumstances, I’ve put in to be in charge of his general care. This is the file from the treatment. They’ve finished for now, but it’s going to be a while before he wakes up. He’s in recovery now, I’ll take you there as soon as I’ve looked over this. So he won’t have to wake up alone.” 

“And what does that say?” Dawn wanted to know. 

“It’s not good,” she sighed as she looked the information over. “I’m not sure you want to know this.” 

“Right now I’m pretty sure that I am the only one he has, so if it concerns him, I want to know,” Dawn commanded and Michele was amazed over how forceful she could be. Dawn obviously was a very strong woman, not weak to be under the influence of Bragi like she had always assumed. Apparently she had been wrong about a good many things lately. 

“I told them I wanted to know what his injuries were,” Michele admitted. “To sum it up, cracked ribs, broken bones, burns, cuts and some rather disturbing patterns to it.” 

“How can it be more disturbing than torture?” Dawn’s hand clenched around the coffee mug. 

Michele hesitated for just a moment, Dawn couldn’t know how they were gods, but she’d see the cross on his chest and she would wonder. Perhaps it was better to try and explain it right away, so that she could make her think what they wanted her to think. “Obviously I can’t tell you why they kidnapped Anders.” She really could not, but Dawn would think that it was because she did not know. “But it must have had something to do with religion, or whoever did it had some religious reason. There is a cut on his chest in the shape of a cross. And I couldn’t tell before, but the wounds on his hands and feet weren’t just cuts, there are punctures all the way through both his hands and feet as if someone has driven a nail through.” 

“Oh god,” Dawn raised a hand to her mouth and looked as if she was about to be sick. “Please tell me that’s the worse they did.” 

‘Two tongued snake.’  
‘Show me for what I am.’

Michele sighed, “No, I’m sorry, but it’s not.” 

TBC

Please comment, the Cricket is hungry...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michele has a few things to say to the Johnson brothers, and so do Dawn...

Chapter 3

Dawn found herself sitting on a hard plastic chair beside Anders’ bed. He was cleaner, but he didn’t look any better to her. The bandages were glaring white and stood out just as much against his skin as the bruises and cuts had done. The cover was pulled to his chest, but his arms rested on top and the damage was still exposed. A bandage wrapped around his head, his right hand covered in thick bandage, the other with a cast where bones had been broken in his fingers and hand. IV lines where inserted into the back of his hand and in his forearm. Even still unconscious he looked to be in pain, impossibly small and vulnerable. Oxygen was hooked to his nose and his mouth was slightly open. She knew that one of the machines he was connected too was constantly measuring the amount of oxygen he received. When Michele had admitted how they had cut his tongue Dawn had nearly been sick and in the end Michele had actually given her something to help calm her down a little. She’d explained how there was a chance his tongue could swell and choke him. They had tried to repair the damage done, but even so Michele warned her that some of the damage could be permanent. 

Now Dawn sat waiting for him to wake up, and she did not even dare to touch him. She was so scared of hurting him that she did not even dare to touch him. 

Michele entered the room, causing her to look up. 

“He should wake soon now,” she stated softly. “So far he’s responding well to treatment, though that’s not really a guarantee for anything.” 

Dawn nodded, not in the mood to talk. 

“I’ve arranged it so you can stay here, if you want to,” Michele went on. “I’m going to stay long enough I know he’s okay, but then I have to head home and get some sleep.”

“I understand,” Dawn decided. 

“I’d stay too, but I really need to get some sleep,” Michele felt the need to defend herself. “My shift was really over when he came in, and I don’t know how much longer I can even go on. Besides, I want to be awake and know what I’m doing for when I’ve got a thing or two to tell his brothers. I plan on getting them all in one spot before I let them have it.” 

“You still haven’t told them?” Dawn wasn’t really surprised by that information. 

Michele confirmed her suspicions by shaking her head. “He didn’t want me to, but it’s not like I really can keep it from them. And right now I’m in the mood to bash a head or two.”

Dawn might have answered but there was a groan from the bed. Anders was stirring and whimpered softly as he regained consciousness. 

“Anders,” Dawn called softly. “It’s okay now Anders, I’m here now.” 

Anders opened his eyes, a look of panic on his face at first but then after a few moments he got his bearings and calmed down slightly. Dawn kept speaking to him, helping him to stay focused on where he was. 

Michele stayed until he had been settled into a private room, with Dawn staying with him, then she headed home to crash as soon as she got there. 

She felt no better when she woke up, the first thing she did calling Dawn to check up on Anders. Dawn who was still with him couldn’t tell her very much about Anders’ physical condition but could evaluate his mental state probably better than anyone else. She reported that he suffered nightmares but though he whimpered and moaned he wouldn’t cry out. He’d clench his fist to stop the screams and it was all Dawn could do to calm him down so eventually they had injected a sedative in his IV-line so that he was unconscious once more. 

Hearing this Michele frowned, it was time to start dealing with the rest of the family. 

Mike had heard her stir and was making breakfast for her when she entered the kitchen area. 

“It must have been a really rough night,” the oldest brother mused as he put a plate in front of her. 

“Worse than you can imagine,” she confirmed. “And something that concerns us all. You need to gather everyone, Olaf, your brothers, everyone.” 

“That bad?” Mike’s eyes widened. 

“That bad,” she confirmed. “Get them here while I eat, and I mean all of them,” she dug into her breakfast as he pulled out his phone and called his family. 

Ty came first, Axl trailing after and finally Olaf. Stacy and Ingrid were with him and though Michele wasn’t overly pleased she could agree it made sense. 

“Well?” Mike folded his arms across his chest. 

“I said everyone,” Michele fingered the folder in her hands. She wanted to know how they’d react. Were they even aware of the fact that Anders wasn’t there? Thinking about the broken man from yesterday she didn’t know what to think. “This is not everyone, did you even call Anders?” she asked Mike who shook his head.

“Anders?” Axl piped up. “We don’t need that prick.” 

“We can fill him in later, if we need him,” Ty was more willing to negotiate but still not much better. 

“This concerns him as well,” Michele shook her head and Mike pulled out his phone again and allowed it to ring for a while before dropping it. 

“He’s not picking up, it doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. 

“He’s probably hiding like the coward he is,” Axl stated. 

“It doesn’t matter, if he is, I can find him anytime we need him,” Mike mused. “Go ahead Michele.” 

Gritting her teeth against their attitude, the attitude she was guilty of having shared she sighed and put the folder on the table. 

“I don’t know a lot, but when we thought we got all the god hunters, we still did not get them all. We must have missed a pretty large number of them actually.” 

“Fuck,” Mike growled. 

“So we just find them and root them out, and Anders can do their thing on them,” Stacy shrugged. “It worked well enough on the first lot. 

“But how could we miss them?” Ty wanted to know. 

“My bet is that this is a group indirectly connected to the first,” Michele decided. Judging by what little Anders had been able to tell her it made sense. “This one though, isn’t above torture to find out what they want.” 

“Do we have evidence of this?” Mike the more practical wanted to know. 

Michele flipped through the photos, photos taken while Anders was treated, for documentation purposes. She started with the cross cut into his chest, just the cross on a badly bruised chest, nothing that would show them who it was. She heard them curse and watched Axl go pale as she showed the next photo. The wound in the palm where a nail had been driven through. 

“He had more of those,” she stated. “Through both hands and feet, where they pounded in nails with a hammer.” 

“Given this, I’d say it was all religious,” Olaf tapped the cross in the photo. 

“The markings of Jesus on the cross,” Ingrid nodded. 

“This is torture,” Ty agreed. “We can’t let them get away with this. It’s sick!” 

“They did worse,” Michele almost spat. “He was held, and tortured for about two weeks. Starved, kept in some cold filthy cellar while they tortured him for information.” 

“How could they do that, didn’t anyone miss him?” Axl frowned. “Didn’t he have any family or anything?” 

“Obviously no one who cared,” she spat. “They wanted information, and I don’t know how he managed, but he never told them anything, so they called him a two-tongued snake when he lied to them. This, this is what they did to him for not revealing any information!” She slammed the photo down, the damage done to his tongue. 

“Jesus,” Axl turned around, pale and with a green tinge to his face. 

“Fuck!” Mike cursed, looking at the photograph with fury. 

“Gods, that’s, that’s inhuman,” Ty mumbled. 

“We need to get them and stop them,” Stacey mumbled. Even she was bothered by the sight.

“Is he gonna make it?” Mike nodded to the photos. 

“Physically he should recover,” she decided. “But with the torture done, who knows what that does to the mind. He might never have the chance of anything resembling a normal life again.”

“Okay,” Mike took charge. “We’ll find who they are, and where they are. Then we’ll go there and stop them the same way we did the first bunch. Anders can stop them.” 

“Where the fuck is he anyway?” Axl demanded. “First he sleeps with Gaia and screws everything up, and now the fucking coward is hiding. Doesn’t he get how serious this is, that guy there could’ve died, and no one cared.” 

“That’s right,” Michele’s eyes were cold as ice. “No one cared. Out of his whole family, no one cared that he was missing.” 

“Well, as Odin I say we need to figure that out before they do it to anyone else,” Axl stated. “That poor guy is bad enough, and if Anders had done his job in the first place it wouldn’t even have happened.” 

“How do you figure that?” Mike wanted to know. 

“Well, he should have thought about asking them and make sure that there weren’t any others,” Axl stated. Mike was actually a little surprised that Axl even thought about that. 

“At the time none of us did,” Mike sighed. “So I guess it’s on all of us, but hopefully we can keep it from happening again.” 

“Hopefully,” Olaf agreed. 

“Anders should’ve made sure,” Axl insisted. “Fucking bastard only cares about himself,” he made to continue but was cut off by Michele’s fist. Axl might be bigger than her, but she knew how to pack a punch and sent him crashing to the floor. 

“What the fuck?” Mike spun around. “What did you do that for?” 

“You said you could find Anders anytime you want to,” she snapped. “God of the hunt, it’s a fucking piece of cake for you, and yet you didn’t. Two fucking weeks and you couldn’t find him. How many times did Dawn ask you? Was she the only one who cared?” 

“What are you talking about?” Ty frowned while Mike just blinked. 

“I’m talking about what they did to Anders,” She slammed her hand down onto the table where the photos lay as Axl slowly climbed to his feet again. 

Mike picked one of them up with a hand that shook, looking closer, seeing details he hadn’t cared about before. “This is Anders, they kidnapped Anders, tortured him?” he swallowed hard. 

“Anders?” Axl blinked. 

“Yeah, it’s Anders,” Michele growled. “He’s at the hospital now, with Dawn because he can’t be alone or he panics. We couldn’t even treat him before Dawn came because he panicked anytime anyone came near him. He couldn’t tell anyone anything because they fucking well slashed his tongue. And not even one of you cared enough to wonder where he was. For two weeks, Dawn has been asking about him for two weeks and have been told lies. You could have found him anytime you cared to wonder where he was.” 

“Oh fuck…” Ty dropped down heavily into a chair, looking sick. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Mike demanded. 

“What the fuck do you think?” she gestured to the photos. “And do you want to know what the worst part is? He didn’t tell them anything. Anders managed to hold up under torture, Anders did, because he knew his brothers would rescue him. Because he thought you were all worth enduring that shit for, and I never, ever thought Anders had enough guts for that.” 

“We need to get to the hospital,” Mike decided. “Why didn’t you tell us before?” 

“Because he didn’t want me to let you know,” she told him simply. “When he found out no one had cared enough to know he was missing he didn’t want you to know. He don’t want you there now either.”

“We’re his family,” Olaf frowned. “We should be there for him.” 

“Yeah well, it’s a bit late for that now,” she tapped the photos again. “I’m heading back to see if there is anything I can do for him. Make yourself useful and find out who was responsible, if you can.” 

With that she stalked out, leaving the photos. It would do them good to mull over them. 

She arrived at the hospital and found Dawn pacing in the corridor outside Anders’ room, looking worried. 

“They tried to get him to eat,” she mumbled. “Some fruit soup or something but he panicked and tried to get away from them. I think he bit his tongue because suddenly there was blood. He looked so terrified, I’ve never seen him terrified before, I’ve never even seen him scared before…” 

“Given what he’s been through, I think we’re going to see a very different side of Anders,” she mused. “He will need you Dawn.” 

“I know,” she nodded. “Jesus he looked so scared, and now I don’t know what’s happening.” 

“I’ll find out,” Michele pushed the door open, as a doctor she could enter but she did not like what she found. When she joined Dawn in the corridor again her face was grim. 

By that time she also found that the rest of the Johnsons had trickled in. With Mike in front they were all there, including Ingrid and Stacey. Axl looking scared, Mike and Ty concerned. Olaf was hard to read and Dawn was scowling at them. 

“He tore a couple of stitches,” she stated. 

“That’s not so bad,” Axl heaved a sigh of relief. 

Michele fixed him with a cold stare, “he tore a couple of stitches in his tongue, which means the swelling made it impossible for him to breath.” 

“No, he can’t be…” Dawn broke off and Michele stepped closer to him. 

“He’s okay,” she soothed. “But right now he’s getting air through a tube inserted into his throat, so he’s kept unconscious for the time being. Until the swelling goes down enough so he can breathe on his own again. Right now if he woke up he’d only panic again.” 

“Can we go in there now?” Mike demanded. 

“He’s being transferred to critical care until he can breathe on his own again,” she shook her head. She was still pissed at them, but found that sympathy was taking over the anger. Dawn didn’t look so forgiving but she knew that while Mike had made a mistake he had never meant for Anders to get hurt. Ty looked near sick with worry and Axl still looked scared. 

“I asked you where he was,” Dawn suddenly flared up. “I asked you I don’t know how many times where he was. I was worried and just look what’s happened to him now.” 

“Alright, enough of this,” Michele cut in. “Arguing in the corridor will only get all of you kicked out. None of you can see Anders again until he’s settled into intensive care, so we might as well go and have a chat.” 

“Is Anders going to be okay?” Mike wanted to know before he was willing to go anywhere. 

“He should be,” she allowed. “He’s getting air again, and he will be closely monitored. Now come on, before you get us all thrown out.” 

She was able to herd them all to a temporarily empty room where they could talk. 

Dawn was glaring at them and Mike was trying to figure out what they could say to her. Axl kept fidgeting in a very distracting way but he refrained from snapping at him. 

“I asked you where he was,” Dawn repeated again. 

“I know,” Mike drew a deep breath. “And I lied, because I thought I was doing him a favor. Look Dawn, we had a pretty bad family argument,” he glanced at Axl. 

“I know, Axl’s girlfriend, and I also know it wasn’t all Anders fault,” she folded her arms across her chest. “And that does not explain why the lot of you blamed him and didn’t even care he was missing. 

Mike ran a hand through his hair, thinking, “we thought he was keeping away from us. He’s done that a time or two before, gone off because he was pissed at us. We really thought that was what he was doing, but if we had told you as much you would have quit the job. I lied because I wanted to be sure he had something to come back to. Probably because it was what I wanted to think,” he added. “We messed up Dawn, we were mad at Anders when perhaps we shouldn’t be, and we didn’t really care what he was doing.” 

“Well, I cared,” her eyes narrowed. “He could have died!” 

Olaf nodded seriously, “he could have, but Anders really is stronger than we give him credit for, and more pure of heart as well.” 

Mike nodded, he had always thought that Anders was weak. He always had appeared weak, getting himself into a mess and then running to Mike to get him out of it. Crying when he got beaten in school, sobbing his heart out when his guinea pig died. Hell, he even used to cry for his fish, Anders was weak, small and weak, so to imagine what he had endured and still stayed silent seemed impossible. “We would never have allowed it to pass if we had known Dawn. But we let a family fight get in the way of family.” 

“We’re not gonna let that happen again,” Ty put in. “Anders is still our brother, we still care about him.” 

“And I’m sure that’s a great comfort to him now,” Dawn spat. “From now on I’m in charge when it comes to Anders, do you all understand that? I don’t care if it was a mistake or how sorry you are. You still all left Anders to those monsters, and I’m not going to forget that anytime soon. And now I’m going to make sure that he’s alright.” She stormed out of the room, not quite slamming the door but not far from it either. 

“I’m starting to like her,” Michele mused. 

Dawn found her way to the critical care unit where Anders now was, slipping into his room to take yet another uncomfortable plastic chair beside the bed. 

If he had looked bad before he looked worse now. The tube inserted into his throat pumped air into his lungs. Air he couldn’t get any other way. She knew he was kept unconscious with drugs but it did not really help to know that when he was so still. 

She looked up later when Mike entered, not really surprised. It was always Mike who stepped in to do what no one else wanted to do. She also knew that Mike cared, truly cared, but she couldn’t help still being mad. 

TBC

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	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

Dawn watched slowly as Mike walked over to the bed, she saw him brush a stray lock of hair away from Anders’ forehead. A gesture of genuine affection that was very rare in the Johnson family. She knew that, having long since realized that Anders had no idea how such affection worked.

 

His hand was always striving towards sexual because it was the only form of love he knew. That light gentle touch was something he did not know and did not understand. She’d quickly come to understand that when it came to Anders you had to tolerate the sexual hints, both the verbal vulgarities and the touches. It was how Anders saw the world. Any woman wronged could be appeased with flowers, any anger could be soothed with a few soft words and any love was sexual love. She was used to it by now, and glad that he appeared to be slowly learning. There was a hand on her shoulder or arm that was more friendly. Sometimes there was even a longing for the touch of a friend. She could detect hints of that but she hadn’t been able to figure out how to do it. How she could teach Anders about familiarity without crossing borders. That was something she had always thought she would have more time for, and yet now she was wondering.

 

Mike sighed tiredly as he stepped back, glancing towards Dawn.

 

“I won’t forgive you anytime soon,” she told him straightforward. “I know you never meant for this to happen, but I don’t care.”

 

He gave her something of a small smile, “I understand. You have every right to be mad. We screwed up.”

 

“What is it with you and your brothers and always seeing the worst in Anders?” she demanded. “I know how he can be, I know it can be hard to put up with him. But even at his worst he’s not as bad as you make him out to be.”

 

“No, he can be really decent,” Mike admitted. “Mum and dad just messed him up as hell between them. Given what they did, I’m surprised he turned out as good as he did.

 

“So stop making it worse and start trying to help him see the way it’s supposed to be,” Dawn snapped. “He has three brothers, three, he should know he doesn’t have to struggle through things alone, but he don’t. He always thinks there is no one to help him, and there should be. There should be Mike.”

 

“Yes,” he nodded. “I’m sorry Dawn. We haven’t been good brothers, none of us. It’s time to do something about that.”

 

Dawn nodded, the faint hissing sound of air being led into Anders’ lungs from the tube grating on her nerves. Someone doing something as normal as breathing should not sound like that.

 

Mike just stood there, close to Anders as if he was keeping an eye on him. He probably was because now his protectiveness urged him to take care of his little brother.

 

Slowly the rest of them trickled in, Ty first, casting a worried look on the bed and stepping up closer to it before he pulled back and satisfied himself with hovering near the wall. Dawn made sure to glare his way, just so he knew she was still mad at him and did not plan to stop anytime soon.

 

She did not bother to do the same with Olaf, coming in with an arm around Axl’s shoulders. It made sense. Axl was far too nervous to enter on his own but she had met Olaf enough to know there was no point in glaring at him. He had his own outlook on the world, usually a somewhat strange one, but Anders liked him she knew.

 

Trying to convey a general sensation of unhappiness she folded her arms across her chest. Anders would have made a joke about that she knew, he always claimed that being angry only made her cuter. It was his sense of humor. He loved to mess with her head. He could drive her up the wall and make her furious only to smile at her. He’d treat her badly, take advantage of her and make her feel unappreciated, then he’d turn around and do something so thoughtful she just didn’t believe it. He sometimes appeared to know things about her she did not see how he could know.

 

When she had a generally bad day when nothing worked and nothing got done he suddenly decided that he had had enough of the flickering lamp and it was time to have an electrician look at it. Something she had urged him to do for months. Before she knew it the man was there and Anders decided they couldn’t work while he worked so they were off on an extended lunch break that started at a nice restaurant and ended with an ice cream in the park.

 

She would never know how he found out because she certainly hadn’t told him, she’d barely spoken to him at the time. He’d been so selfish and annoying and she was just typing out her resignation on the computer when he dropped a small box on her desk. It was her birthday, though she had tried to ignore that the whole day. The friends she had been about to meet for lunch had canceled, and Anders had been a total prick the whole day only to head out and leave everything to her. Which was why she had had enough, but then he’d gotten her the bracelet she had been wishing she could afford, and she didn’t know how he knew. It was just one of those things that Anders did. She never knew how, but sometimes he just seemed to know those things, and she’d come to learn that he didn’t do it just to make her stay. He did it because he cared.

 

Now she did not know what would happen at all, or if Anders would ever really be the same again.

 

She would really miss him she knew.

 

Anders was something of a prick, but he was still a lovable one.

 

Michele would read the machines every once in a while, but she did not tell them very much. She’d just ponder the information thoughtfully.

 

It was three days like that with Anders lying perfectly still, oxygen only supplied through the tube in his throat. Then finally the swelling was down enough they deemed it safe to allow him to breathe on his own. Dawn however hated the bandage on his throat as much as she had hated the tube. There was a slight rasp to his breathing too, even though he now stirred a little as they waited for him to wake up.

 

Mike was there with Dawn when he finally opened his eyes, blinking several times before he was able to focus on her. Seeing Mike a confused and worried look came over his face and he opened his mouth. A faint barely audible croak was all he managed though.

 

“Don’t try to talk Anders,” Dawn urged. “Your tongue is still a little swollen.”

 

Anders turned her eyes on her, fearfully as he moaned, still trying to speak.

 

“Anders, don’t,” Mike put a hand on his shoulder. “Just, lie still and keep quiet. We’ll sort it out, okay?”

 

Anders gave a tiny nod, then moaned when his neck hurt.

 

“Your tongue swelled up so that you couldn’t breathe properly, that’s why it hurts now,” Mike told him. He had decided against telling him about the tube in his throat just yet. That could wait for later. “Right now, the most important thing is that you keep calm and take it easy. And don’t try to talk, you got stitches in your tongue, and if it swells again you might not be able to breathe. Do you understand?”

 

Anders gave another tiny nod though he winced.

 

“I know your hands hurts too Anders,” Mike put in. “But if you want to say something, it’s better if you write it, think you can do that?”

 

Anders looked at him, contemplating putting the thoughts in his head down on paper, being forced to see them. Permanent ink on paper, and shook his head.

 

“Alright, okay,” Mike nodded. “That can wait a bit, just a bit awkward but we’ll work it out. Do you need anything right now?”

 

Anders looked at him, almost fearfully, then he closed his eyes.

 

Dawn bit her lip as she saw the tense look on his face, eyes squeezed shut as if he believed the monster would be there if he opened them. Probably he really did believe that she mused. She picked up a plastic mug and spoon from the table beside the bed. “They gave us some ice chips for you,” she told him softly. “You probably can’t really drink right now, but it might help you feel better. Can you open your mouth a little?”

 

Keeping his eyes locked on her and refusing to even look at his brother Anders opened his eyes a tiny crack. Dawn smiled at him and he relaxed a little, opening his eyes fully and parting his lips. Dawn noticed now how chapped they were and she thought it must be painful as well. She’d ask Michele about that, but for now she slipped a small sliver of ice into his mouth.

 

Anders was amazed over how good it felt, the coldness soothing on his tongue that seemed to throb painfully. It was hot and thick in his mouth, burning with pain and it scared him. The ice melted and trickled down his throat without him hardly having to swallow. That was good too, because his throat hurt so much.

 

Eagerly he parted his lips again so that Dawn could slip a few more ice chips into his mouth.

 

She gave him a few spoonfuls and Anders was grateful, but he was also nervous about the way Mike was watching him. He didn’t know what to think about his brother anymore.

 

“Anders, I’m just going to see if I can get you something to make you more comfortable,” Dawn stated as she put the mug back down on the table. “I’ll be right back.” She stood and turned to the door and Mike had to bite his lip.

 

When she stood there was a look of panic that flashed across Anders’ face. He drew in a quick breath of air and his eyes darted around the room. When he laid eyes on Mike by accident he squeezed his eyes shut, but at the slightest noise they flew open again. He was in a constant state of near panic Mike realized.

 

“It’s okay Anders, you’re safe now,” he stated soothingly. To his surprise Anders recoiled from his touch, letting out a frightened cry, and then a pained moan as he moved. Mike quickly pulled his hand back but Anders was still visibly trembling and Mike did not dare to touch him again.

 

Instead he pulled back and sat quiet as he waited for Dawn to return.

 

“Here we go, Michele said it would be okay to use this,” she held up a small chap stick. “They sell them here, nothing in it that will irritate you. Would you like some more ice first though?”

 

Anders gave a tiny nod and she took up the mug and the spoon again. A lot of the ice had melted but there were still some ice chips and she gave him a spoonful of the cold water too.

 

Anders drank it eagerly, then tried to lick his lips. Mike felt the anger build up in him as the tip of his tongue showed, the wicked slash down his tongue a swollen jagged line. His lip was chapped enough that the edges of the wound caught on the cracks in the skin. Anders whimpered pitifully and Mike felt an anger so fierce it was hard to control.

 

“Don’t lick your lips Anders, it’ll just make it worse,” Dawn soothed. “I know this will hurt too, but I’ll be as careful as I can, okay?”

 

Anders gave a small nod to show that he was ready and Dawn carefully applied the lip balm. “It’s going to take some time for that to work Anders,” she cautioned him. “I’ll give you some more in just a little while though.”

 

Anders gave another tiny nod to show that he had understood, apparently the only thing he could do. Shaking his head hurt too much. Mike was still there and it made him feel decidedly uneasy. Normally Mike would have made him feel safe, but not now.

 

When he was little and scared he wanted his big brother to be there to make him feel safe.

 

This time he wanted his brother to leave.

 

_**TBC** _

 

_Please comment, the Cricket is hungry..._


	5. chapter 5

Chapter 5

Anders had never been more grateful to have Dawn in his life than he was while he was recovering. She spent most of her days with him. She would bring Anders’ laptop to the hospital and work from his room. That way, most of the job was getting done, Anders didn’t have to be alone and yet she didn’t have to sit staring at the wall the whole time. 

Michele would enter the room several times everyday. When she worked she would come by to check on him, and sometimes spend her break there. If Dawn had to leave Michele would often be there until she came back. 

Anders had even heard her giving some other doctor some crap excuse for it when they thought Michele was spending too much time with just one patient. 

He had never thought that Michele would do that for him, but now he considered her to be one of the few people he could trust. 

Dawn stood, making him turn his head slightly to look at her. “I’m getting some coffee Anders, do you want something?” she asked and he nodded. She’d bring back different frozen treats for him. Milkshake, slushy drinks and such. She’d tried ice cream but his hand was a little too stiff and clumsy for the spoon which meant she had to help him. Though she didn’t mind it, Anders wasn’t entirely happy about being spoon fed so he was much happier to have something with a straw. 

She gave him a warm smile as she left, but Anders found himself uneasy. The room was silent, too silent. Yet every time he heard footsteps or a voice he jumped and broke out into a cold sweat. 

He hadn’t really seen his family, Michele had made sure they kept away. He remembered raised voices outside his room, but Michele had been firm. Having them there agitated Anders and made it harder for him to rest. 

Dawn entered the room again and he heaved a sigh of relief, trying not to show how nervous he had been. 

“There you go,” Dawn placed the paper cup in his hand, closing his fingers around it. He only had the use of one hand, and only partial use at that. It was swollen and stiff and he couldn’t really flex his fingers properly. Holding on to a mug for a short time was about what he managed. Michele had brought him a small foam ball that she said she wanted him to squeeze. It mostly lay untouched on the bedside table though. If he got the dexterity back in his fingers he knew she’d want him to at least write as he could not really speak. He did not want to answer any questions about anything. 

Besides it hurt. 

Dawn was working again, sipping her coffee and looking at him from time to time to make sure he was managing okay. 

The mug started to slip from his now partially numb fingers and he tried to steady it with his other hand. With the cast he could not hold anything, but he could support the bottom of the mug. Dawn noticed instantly and reached over to help him. She took it and put it on the table for a little later. Anders didn’t want her to hold it for him, but he could only hold things himself for a short period of time. 

“I think I might just have been able to line up a new client,” she smiled knowing that would make him feel a little better. Indeed he turns his head slightly on the pillow to look at her. 

“Apparently the anti drug campaign you did was impressive enough that word has spread,” she gave him a warm smile, trying not to let on her doubts. This time it had nothing to do with Anders’ current condition. That campaign had been strange. Anders had been very weird throughout the whole duration. He’d been almost frighteningly cheerful, then there were bouts of hyperactivity that really caused her concern. He neither ate nor slept as he continued to work on a load of different projects at the same time. He couldn’t sit still to do so though and she found herself wondering if maybe he had tried one of the drugs they were campaigning against. 

Later when she got to know him better she was able to tell with certainty that he had, and he had probably enjoyed it too. 

She hoped they never found out what the money that had been paid for ‘research’ had really gone too. It might have been research in a way, the Anders way, but she really hoped they did not find out. The campaign had been a big hit, they reported a positive result with fewer young people taking drugs. 

Anders though had been high for weeks. 

“A private school wants us to do a campaign for their students. Apparently some interesting substances have been getting around the school,” she mused. “They contacted me just yesterday so I’ve looked into it. I think I can handle it, so it’s up to you if you want us to take it?” 

Anders nodded and gestured for the computer. Typing was easier than writing even if he had to press one key at a time. At least he did not have to try and grip an impossibly thin pen. Dawn brought the laptop over so he could reach the keyboard and brought up the text editor. 

‘Can’t use the same material, but research notes in the files in the office,’ he typed out slowly. 

“I’m sure I’ll find that interesting reading,” she shuddered and he smiled. Dawn nearly started at the smile, showing just a hint of dimples as well as mischief. “It’s a good thing though,” she went on, hoping she could bring out another smile. “I don’t do the kind of research that you do. So it’s just as well you kept the notes.” 

Anders did give her another small smile, not quite enough for the dimples, but enough so that his eyes did not look so dull and empty. Reaching for the cup again he allowed Dawn to put it in his hand.

Dawn however found it hard to work, as long as the hint of the smile was there she found herself continuously watching Anders. 

TBC

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	6. chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

Mike had a grim look on his face as he made his way through the hospital, Michele had kept them informed about Anders’ condition but had told them to keep away. Anders did not want them there, which had not exactly gone over well with Axl. The youngest brother felt a small measure of guilt over the fact that he had pretty much on his own banned Anders from the family. He’d been urging now that they should go there, and Michele had argued with him and threatened bodily harm should Axl go there.

 

Dawn had done much the same with Ty, telling him that if they bothered Anders or pushed him in any way she would never see him again. That meant Mike wasn’t even sure about his own welcome. He easily found the way though, all he had to do was try to find Anders.

 

He was in a private room, and alone at the moment. Mike glanced through the window in the door before he entered and he was shocked by what he saw. Anders held himself stiffly, half reclining and still curled up. He kept throwing worried looks around himself, whenever he heard a noise. He had not seen Mike yet and still looked quite terrified.

 

Slowly Mike pushed open the door and watched him give a start. He jumped and then a look of pain came over his face at the sudden movement.

 

“Hey there bro,” Mike started softly, he had expected Anders to calm down as soon as he saw it was his brother but he did not. Instead he looked around himself again, his eyes falling on the call button for the nurse. “Take it easy Anders, it’s okay, I’m here now,” he told him. Realizing only afterwards that Anders was perfectly aware that he was, and that was why he looked so scared.

 

“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” he told him softly. “Everyone is really worried about you. Dawn and Michele are trying to keep us away, so Ty and Axl are pretty frantic about it.”

 

At the sound of his youngest brothers name Anders squeezed his eyes shut and there was a sudden hitch in his breathing.

 

“Anders, are you okay?” Mike demanded. “Does it hurt, or what’s wrong?”

 

His brother didn’t answer, but then Mike realized that maybe he could not with his tongue.

 

“It’s gonna be okay Anders,” he soothed. He thought it would calm him but Anders still looked just as agitated.

 

There was a pitcher of water on the bedside table so Mike poured a little in a glass and made to help Anders to drink. He was shocked to see that Anders pulled away from him.

 

“I’m just gonna give you some water, you thirsty?” he asked softly and Anders shook his head. He was looking at him worriedly, his head pulled back a little and since Mike did not want to push him he put the water down again. There was a chair beside the bed so he sat down but pulled it back a little.

 

“All I want to do is to make sure you’re okay, to help you,” he stated. “Everyone is really worried about you.”

 

Closing his eyes Anders shook his head, he looked so small and scared Mike could not help but reach for him and again he gave a start.

 

“We didn’t know they got to you Anders, we would never have left you had we known,” Mike tried and his head snapped up. His brother gave him a look of cold furry and then he reached up a clumsy bandaged hand to pull at the gown he was wearing. It slid off his shoulder to show a half healed wound there, the sign of the cross that had been cut into his chest.

 

Seeing it in the photos had been bad enough, seeing it on Anders pale chest nearly made him sick. His ribs stood out as he was much too thin and the cross lay in gentle waves over his ribcage.

 

Anders touched fingertips to the raw looking scar tissue, then he raised the hand to brush it across his mouth and throat. He held up the hand with the cast and fixed Mike with a glare.

 

Anders was the God of poetry, although silent at the moment but Mike didn’t need to hear any words. It was all too obvious. Looking into his eyes he could see it all, pain and betrayal.

 

He remembered Axl saying that what hurt the most was that it was his own brother who had done it. Only it wasn’t really, it was Bragi. Just the same as it was Odin who had punished Anders and thrown him onto a pile of rubble like a broken toy. One that broke when he hit that rubble. His throat had been ripped open by the hand of his brother and Anders had actually died there just before Michele was able to heal him with the stick.

 

It was his own brother who had done it, and who had just about banished him after. Axl had panicked when he thought he had killed his brother but when Anders was fine, or as fine as someone constantly fainting from blood loss could be he’d been angry again. He had just about banished Anders, and the others who had been so focused on helping him get through it had followed his lead.

 

All of them had ignored Anders, not calling him to check on him, not going to see how he was doing. When Dawn called they had assumed he was just being a wanker and had made up excuses.

 

Now Mike wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive himself for that.

 

“I’m sorry Anders,” he stated softly. His brother gave him a sneer and an accusing look. Then he wrapped his arms around himself, visibly trembling and Mike approached again. He reached out to touch him and Anders gave a hoarse cry as he felt his hand on his arm. He brought his arms up and gasped for air and Mike jumped back.

 

“Anders, Anders, it’s just me,” he started, hoping to calm him down. Anders was rocking back and forth, whimpering.

 

“Anders, it’s okay, you’re safe now,” he started softly, getting closer again he put a gentle hand around his brother. He knew Anders didn’t trust him, but he also knew it was still Anders. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder he held his head gently against his chest. He felt more than heard a few muffled sobs, and then Anders started to calm down again. Mike let him go and he gave his brother a weary look.

 

Again Mike stepped back, and Anders dropped his head.

 

Broken.

 TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

“What are you doing here?” Dawn demanded as she entered the room and Mike quickly stood to urge her to be quiet.

 

“Anders just fell asleep,” he told her quietly.

 

“I can see that,” she stated, folding her arms across her chest. “What are you doing here Mike?”

 

“He’s my brother,” he reminded her. “I’m worried about him. We’re all worried about him.”

 

“You weren’t worried when I called,” she told him harshly. “You told me everything was fine.”

 

“I was wrong, but I really don’t want to talk about this in here,” he glanced at Anders who stirred in his sleep.

 

Dawn nodded slowly and led the way out into the hallway. “I don’t want you near Anders Mike. I don’t want Ty or Axl, or any of you near Anders right now. Do you understand that?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But he is our brother and you know that regardless of what happened, we care about him.”

 

“No Mike, I don’t know,” she stated. “And worst of all, Anders don’t know.”

 

Mike knew she was right, and was really glad that she was willing to stand up for Anders. He just wished she wouldn’t fight him about it. He doubted there was any way they could make this right by Anders, but he had to try. “Dawn, I need to tell you a couple of things and I don’t think you’re going to like it very much. Also, I think it needs to be more private than this.”

 

Dawn folded her arms across her chest, “I don’t think it’s going to change anything. Just so you know.”

 

“It might not,” he admitted. “I don’t know. But maybe if you hear it you’ll understand why I had to come here anyway.”

 

“Fine, but make it quick, I don’t want Anders to be alone for too long,” she told him. Following him to an empty room down the corridor.

 

“You already know dad shot through when Axl was just a baby,” he started. “And then mum ditched us and told me I was in charge because she had had enough.”

 

“So, because your mum and dad abandoned all four of you, it’s okay for you to do the same thing to Anders?” she snorted. “It won’t change anything, except making me want to tell you never to get near him again.”

 

“It’s not okay,” Mike hurried to say. “And it’s not the point, my point is that Anders was a smart but fairly immature teenager at the time. And I resented having to take care of all three so I guess I dumped some shit on him I shouldn’t have, and Anders pulled some shit that really didn’t help either. So I think we were pretty even there. I had to work to pay the bills, and Anders had to make sure the kids were fed, it was pretty strained. We both had dreams about other things, but there wasn’t much we could do about it. Then Valerie and Anders never got along.”

 

“I got that impression,” Dawn stated dryly.

 

Mike nodded slowly, “I don’t know if one of them were better than the other. Anders was immature, and Valerie really had no idea how to handle a teen, so she tried to intimidate him. Anders, well, he said he did it for my sake, but he slept with her and I was pretty pissed at him.”

 

“It sounds like Anders,” Dawn managed a small smile and Mike had to chuckle.

 

“Yeah, and back then I thought it was bullshit, but in a way I believe it now. Somewhere he probably had a good intention, he just went about it like a wanker. But we had a pretty big fight, I literally beat him and I’m not proud of it, but for fucks sake, he slept with my girlfriend, to make a fucking point.”

 

“And I imagine this is why Anders had no contact with anyone but Axl for some time,” Dawn mused dryly. “You’re still not saying anything that will make me let you see him.”

 

“It’s why he had no contact with us,” Mike confirmed. “Because I pretty much told him I never wanted to see him again, and that if I did, I’d give him another beating. So he kept away, only now I’m finding out how much shit he had to deal with alone during that time, and I don’t care much for it. I wasn’t any better than mum. Yeah, sure, he kind of deserved the beating for what he did, but not the rest. Not having to go through it all alone because his family refused to be there, and now we’ve done it again. Because of Axl’s girl, but I’m not going to let it become a third time. This shouldn’t have happened, we shouldn’t have been so concerned about Axl that we didn’t care about Anders. And we never meant for it to be like that, all we meant to do was to let things calm down.”

 

“That’s not my problem, I can understand that,” her voice was still cold. “I know how Anders can be, and that with Axl’s girl, it was wrong.”

 

“It wasn’t really his fault though,” Mike sighed. “Not really hers either, they were both victims of circumstances, but with Anders usually being a dick…”

 

“Everyone just blamed him anyway,” she finished. “And it’s about time you stooped that shit. Because he’s taken a lot from you over the years. It’s all fine when you need him, but when you don’t, then you’re all happy to let him know that. Do you even realize what you’re doing?” she demanded, her voice rising. “He always does what you say, I know he argues and everything, but he always does it, and do you even know why?”

 

“He’s really not so bad deep down,” Mike stated softly but Dawn cut him off with a finger pointed at his face.

 

“You don’t!” she snapped. “Because Anders still thinks if he does what you say, if he’s a good boy you’ll start caring for him again. But it’s never going to happen, is it? You need him, you demand him to do what you say, but you take it for granted. You never thank him for it, you just send him on his way until you need him again. And I don’t think you really care about him at all. If you do, treating him the way you do, then you’ve got to be the worst brother in the world,” she made to storm out of the room and Mike turned around slowly.

 

“I used to have to help him bury his dead fish in the back yard,” Mike stated softly. “I hated it because I thought he was such a wimp, he cried. When his guinea pig died he just sat crying his eyes out, and he was nearly as bad with the fish. I hated it, but I did it every time.”

 

“But you don’t anymore,” Dawn didn’t turn around anymore. “Why?”

 

“Because Anders isn’t the only dick in the family,” he mused. “Axl can be a selfish prick, our fault, for always spoiling him I guess. And it’s true, I try to control this family because someone has to be in control.”

 

“But you can’t control Anders,” Dawn turned her head a little.

 

“No, I can’t,” he agreed. “I don’t think anyone can. He’s got his own set of rules, his own set of morals. He comes across as a big dick, but he’s not. He’s a good guy, messed up and confused but basically a good guy. And somewhere inside him there’s still the little kid that would cry over a dead fish and pretty much faint if he saw blood.”

 

Dawn shook her head, “I don’t think that kid is there anymore. I think you killed him.” Opening the door she left the room to go back to Anders. He was awake now and clearly upset. He was stiff and his eyes kept darting around the room.

 

“I had to talk to Mike,” she told him as she sat on the mattress. “Are you okay now?”

 

Anders gave a small shrug, trying to put on a brave face.

 

“Do you want me to get us a milkshake or something?” Dawn asked softly. “A small treat, you look like you could use something.”

 

Anders paused, it sounded nice, but he didn’t want Dawn to leave again, he didn’t want to be alone.

 

“It’ll only be a few minutes,” she soothed but she could see his worry and she hated it. Anders was not supposed to be scared of just being alone for a few moments.

 

“Hey,” she sat on the mattress beside him. “Anders, do you want to talk to Mike?” The look on his face told her all she needed to know. “I told him to stay away, but he didn’t come here to upset you. He really cares, I don’t think I can forgive him for what he did anytime soon, but he came because he cared. And I don’t want you to worry now, you’re safe, and you don’t have to see them before you’re ready for it. So how about that milkshake now, huh?”

 

Slowly he nodded and she stood again. “The cafeteria isn’t far away, I’ll only be gone a few minutes.”

 

She hurried, but she still stopped to exchange a few words with Michele who followed her back to Anders room, greeting him with a smile.

 

“You’re healing quite well Anders,” she told him as Dawn helped him to sit up and drink the milkshake. “I know it’s still very painful, so we don’t want you to overexert yourself, but it’s time you start moving a little.”

 

Allowing the paper cup with the milkshake to rest on the mattress he gave her a dubious look.

 

“I’m not talking about you walking,” she smiled softly to ease his fear. “But if you only lie in bed until you’re feet heal, you won’t really be able to walk properly when they do. You need to exercise Anders, to keep your mobility. There is a swimming pool here for that very purpose. I know it will be awkward and probably not very comfortable for you, but it is something that has to be done.”

 

He shook his head, it would involve exposing himself. He would have to be undressed, exposed where everyone could see the mark on his chest and they would remove the bandages. He knew they would probably just cover the casts with plastic, but they would remove the bandages and he did not think he could stand seeing the scars from the torture.

 

“Anders, you will only be in more pain later if you don’t,” Michele urged. “I know you won’t like it, and I wouldn’t even bring this up if it wasn’t something that had to be done, but it is. I’m sorry, but it is. But we’ll make it as comfortable for you as possible, okay? I’ll be in charge, Dawn can help and we’ll make it private. There won’t be any other patients there, okay?”

 

It sounded better, but he still shook his head, pulling back. The milkshake fell and he gave a start, throwing his arms up to protect himself.

 

Dawn didn’t beat him though, she only picked it up and used a couple of tissues to clean up what little had spilled from it. Anders looked between them, uneasy and Michele bit her lip. He was obviously not ready for it, but he needed the exercise if he wasn’t going to get worse.

 

Michele sat on the chair next to the bed, “okay Anders, I’m going to be blunt and honest, and if you don’t like this now, tough shit. I’ll do it for your sake, and I really don’t think you want me to lie to you or baby you. I know it’s going to hurt, and you’re not looking forward to that, that’s no problem. I can give you painkillers because I really think you’ve been in enough pain lately. I think the biggest problem is in your head though, it’s easy to see how scared you are, and I don’t blame you. I guess I would be scared too, probably not as frightened as you are, but then I’m probably just a bit tougher than you are.”

 

Dawn gave her a glare at that and Michele smiled. “Anyone would be scared out of their mind after what you went through,” the blond told him.

 

“You are a bit of a coward Anders, and you know it,” Michele grinned. Baiting Anders, teasing him, she enjoyed it and he didn’t look angry either. She was telling the truth and he knew it. “That’s not my point though. You’re gonna have to deal with this shit, no matter how tough it is, no matter how scared you are. You don’t have a choice Anders, and one thing I’m not gonna let you do is to let those bastards win one over you. It doesn’t matter if you see those cuts or not, or if others do or not. They’ll still be there, and you need to understand that. You can refuse to take of your shirt, and I can let you and tell you that it’s okay. You can wear that stupid gown you got on now in the bath, and you can be too ashamed to ever show your skin to anyone again. But I won’t let you do it. If that’s the reason why you’re not agreeing, then I’ll have that gown off you right now and I’ll make you have a good long look at every cut and scar until you realize that.”

 

“Michele, stop!” Dawn snapped. Anders was pale and looked like he was ready to be sick, something that told Michele she had figured out the problem.

 

“You’re a pretty good looking guy Anders, and they’ve already taken enough from you. I don’t want them to take that too,” she finished more softly. “If you let those scars win over you now, you’ll never be able to beat them. You’re not strong enough, so this is one thing you need to figure out now, no matter how hard it is or how much you hate me for saying it.”

 

Anders wrapped his arms around himself, dropping his head as tears slid down his cheeks. He knew she was right and he knew she didn’t do it to hurt him. He felt Dawn wrap her arms around him to hold him.

 

He could feel her anger and knew she was upset with Michele, and he knew Michele was really only doing it to help him.

 

He didn’t want to fall into that trap. To walk around the rest of his life hiding every scar out of shame.

 

“It would kill you Anders.”

 

She was right, it would.

 

When Dawn finally released him Anders reached up a shaky hand and unbuttoned the gown in front. Small drops of salty water hit the scar on his chest with tiny splashes.

 

 TBC


	8. chapter 8

Chapter 8

Dawn had been furious with her over the method she chose, but Michele had been very pleased with Anders. He’d fall back into trying to hide the wounds and scars several times every day, but he was fighting that impulse and he allowed them to help him into the water. At least that allowed him to keep his mobility as he physically recovered. 

It was his mental recovery that worried Michele the most. She’d expected the issues with the scars, and the suddenly developed fear. She just hadn’t expected it to be so severe and while she had bullied him into showing his body she knew she could not make light of this fear. 

Physically he was well enough to be discharged provided that there was someone who stayed with him. He still couldn’t walk very well and only had one hand to use, and he could not talk. They had removed the stitches in his tongue and it was healing, but there was enough damage done that he would basically have to learn how to talk again, and might never speak quite naturally. He was aware of this and refused to try. Basically he refused to really communicate with them at all. 

He would stay with Dawn as she had a spare room but Michele was still worried. Anders still might panic if he was alone and some sound startled him. He was still taking sedatives that Michele was prescribing to him even though she knew it was probably time to wean him off them. Merely getting Anders too Dawn’s house was difficult with the blond nearly panicking. Michele had given him a sedative first and as she saw him break out into a sweat and look around himself terrified she was glad for it. 

Dawn was soothing and comforting, trying to calm him while Michele only wanted to get it over with. She was glad to have him settled in the bedroom Dawn had prepared for him. Anders calmed down with the familiar surroundings as well. He was able to relax a little and started breathing more normally.

“I think some pizza would be good for dinner,” Michele mused and Dawn agreed. Anders could eat normal food again though he did not have much appetite. He’d choke down the bare minimum needed to sustain him and not a bite more. 

Dawn still ordered a pizza for him, she knew well enough what he liked since he usually made her do such things for him at the office. She put two slices on a plate for him, knowing that to give him too much would only make him eat less. He was well enough to move around even if he still had the casts, but she knew he would be too tired to want to do it so she and Michele had decided it was best if they ate in the bedroom with him. Dawn carried in the plates with the pizza and Michele took the soda. She had declared that out of a medical point of view it was best not to give Anders alcohol, especially not since he tended to border on alcoholic. 

That was another issue that Michele thought they might have to deal with. She’d run some tests while he was in the hospital and the alcohol was starting to take its tool on Anders’ body. He was still functioning properly, but there were clear signs that he needed to cut back or risk more severe problems later. Knowing that what he would have to deal with now would be even harder for him made her worry that he’d turn to the alcohol once more, and literally drink himself to death. 

Anders took the plate into his lap now, picking up the pizza with his good hand and actually making an effort. He gave them a sheepish look, as if he wanted to make a remark, only he couldn’t. The fact that he really needed to see a speech therapist rather galled Michele but she knew better than to bring it up again. He was not ready for that. 

What Anders had been through in those two weeks had utterly destroyed him, and Michele suspected that the final blow had been to find out that no one had been looking for him. She kept thinking that if she had been able to tell him that Mike had turned the world upside down looking for him, he wouldn’t be this scared and frightened now. 

Dawn had briefly breached the subject of work with him, and Anders had looked to her for help. He had not known what to do for himself, so Dawn had thought it through quickly. Anders did not have a hope of managing, that much was obvious. Going all the way to the office would be painful for him, and the stress would probably slow down his recovery even further. Just the same he couldn’t be alone the whole time while she went to the office. She had offered to take care of most of the work from home, though she knew she would have to take trips to the office throughout the day at times. On the other hand, it would allow Anders to help her when he could. He needed plenty of rest, but it would make it easier for her both to confer with him, and to use the work to distract him.   
He would have to be alone when she went to the office, and when she had to set up a meeting with a client but Michele pointed out that Anders needed to overcome his fear of being alone. That wasn’t going to happen if someone was with him all the time. 

She also told them she would help and come by every now and again, both to check on him and to keep them company. 

That was probably what Anders liked best he decided. He had only spent one day in Dawn’s place when Michele came by the next evening. Bringing with her pizza and a couple of movies. 

Wanting to prove to her that he was not a coward and was not giving in to his fears Anders who had mostly spent the day in the guest room up to that point made his way into the living room on his own. He was moving slowly and stiffly, but Michele gave him an approving smile as he settled heavily on the couch and he found he felt proud over his accomplishment. 

He felt safe with them, for one thing, he knew that Michele could really do some serious damage when she wanted to. It wasn’t just that though, there was more to it. He felt safe because there was no reason for Dawn to be connected to anything dangerous. She was just an everyday woman who never got involved with the kind of stupid stuff that got you into danger. That was what he did. During the day though he had used the excuse of needing to rest to stay in the bedroom, half curled up on the bed with the door closed and the curtains drawn. 

He didn’t feel brave at all then, he just felt scared. 

“Here Anders,” Dawn brought a footstool over. She had put a pillow on it and he lifted his feet enough he could rest them on it. It did help to ease the soreness he felt. His legs would get stiff if he didn’t move, and then moving hurt so that he did not want to. Michele had started to cut back on the painkillers as well and he couldn’t argue. 

Dawn handed him a plate with two slices of pizza on it and put a can of soda in front of him as Michele started the movie. 

The two women sat down, Dawn on the couch beside him and Michele in an armchair. It was a fairly good movie and he tried to pay attention to it, but he found his gaze kept wandering to the window and finally he put the plate down, wrapping his arms around himself. He’d only eaten half a slice, but he couldn’t concentrate. 

“Anders?” Michele followed his gaze and saw the window. She thought she had a fairly good idea what the problem was. He kept looking at it nervously as if he expected someone to be there. Dawn had told her that one of the first things he had done had been to draw the curtains in the guest room but she didn’t want to do that. Anders had to see that he was in a safe surrounding. 

He looked at her now, and apologetic look on his face before he lowered his eyes. 

“There is no one there Anders,” Michele told him softly. “But if you worry, why don’t you go take a look?” 

Anders head snapped up and he looked at her in shock. 

“I mean it, if you’re that scared of it, I doubt my word will be good enough. And besides that you can’t have someone always checking for you. What good would that do? You need to see for yourself.” 

He shook his head then, before he wrapped his arms tighter around his chest, unable to help himself. 

“Come Anders,” Dawn stood and held out her hand to him, ready to go with him to the window and he dropped his head further, tears in his eyes from shame for being such a coward. He had wanted to show Michele that he was not a coward and he was doing a shit job out of it. 

Angrily he slammed his fist down on his thigh and moaned as it hurt. 

“Hey, that won’t help,” Michele half snapped. “Anders, I’m not saying I don’t understand, just that you need to be able to do this for yourself.” 

Nodding Anders stumbled to his feet, the sudden burst of pain in his hand easier to focus on than the fear, and anyway the pain was no more than he deserved for being such a coward. Dawn stood by the window with him, looking out but there was nothing there and he did not have much appetite afterwards though he watched the rest of the movie with them. 

 

TBC

Please comment, the Cricket is hungry...


	9. chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

He stayed with Dawn, never offering to go back to his flat, knowing only too well that he wouldn’t be able to and Dawn didn’t even bring it up. He hadn’t been in contact with his brothers at all, if they texted he shut off the phone, sometimes throwing it away from himself, sometimes even backing away because he was scared of what they would say about him.

 

He had overcome the worst fear just as long as he was with Dawn or Michele, but it was different if he was alone. Then he hid himself away in Dawn’s spare room. He was angry at himself for being such a coward though, disgusted with himself.

 

Dawn was remarkable to put up with him he thought. He couldn’t understand why she would do that. She had no real privacy because he was always there. Even if she went out with Ty she couldn’t truly get away from him because he was there when she got back. He’d shut himself into the spare room, but the moment she got back, the moment he knew it was her he’d hurry out, just to make sure.

 

Ty had followed inside once, and when he saw him Anders found himself backing away.

 

“Anders, it’s just me,” Ty stated hurriedly, not liking how Anders had his back pressed up against the wall behind him.

 

Anders pressed himself harder against the wall in response, dropping his eyes so that he wasn’t looking at him.

 

“Anders, we’re worried about you. Won’t you even let us see you?” Ty tried, taking just one step closer to his brother.

 

His brother couldn’t answer, but his head shot up, and the accusation was clear in his eyes. They’d failed him and Anders wasn’t about to forgive them for it. He blamed them for what he had gone through.

 

“Anders?” he sighed.

 

“I think you’d better leave Ty,” Dawn looked between them sadly. “It was a nice evening.”

 

“Yeah, it was,” Ty gave Anders a last look. “I know what you think Anders, and I don’t blame you. But we do care, so when you’re ready, we want to try and make it up to you.”

 

With a choked cry Anders turned away, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he hobbled into the spare room.

 

Dawn followed after him, sitting down on the bed beside him.

 

“It’s okay Anders,” she soothed. He shook his head, there was no way it could be okay again. He hadn’t been a prisoner for all that long, not really, but what they had done to him was more than he could overcome.

 

Making a fist he beat it against his thigh in anger, the pain both serving to distract him and as a punishment for being so weak. His father, Johan, had always complained that he was weak. Small and weak, never big enough to do anything and never strong enough to get it right. He was the one who had decided they needed to toughen him up. Suddenly he was too old for stuffed animals just overnight. The training wheels came off his bike, even though it was Mike’s old one and still so big he couldn’t reach both pedals at the same time. He’d been so proud to learn it, even if it looked funny with the way he’d push one pedal down, and then reach for the other. He had been proud because it was Mike’s old bike and he looked up to Mike and wasn’t it great he was learning to use Mike’s bike?

Then without the training wheels he couldn’t even get on, he was too short. He couldn’t even get up into the saddle and when he fell over and over again he started to cry.

 

That didn’t go over well with his father.

 

Finally he refused to get on it, screamed that he hated bikes and never wanted to ride a bike. He even kicked the bike and his father slapped him.

 

Getting Mike’s old things never was quite the same again after that.

 

It was just a shameful reminder that he was weaker and smaller than Mike.

 

Small and weak was something you deserved to be punished for, and that was a lesson he had learned quite well.

 

“Anders, don’t do that,” Dawn grabbed his hand. “You don’t have to see Ty, or any of your family before you are ready, but please don’t do that.”

 

He shrugged, pulling back.

 

“Do you want something to eat Anders?” she asked softly, changing the topic. “I’m a little hungry myself. How about a small snack?”

 

He shook his head, even if he kept it lowered.

 

“Are you sure?” she frowned. “You didn’t have a lot either for lunch or supper, and I don’t want to nag, but you really need to eat a bit more, okay?”

 

He looked up at her then, with a guilty look on his face.

 

“I’m not going to cook a five course meal Anders,” she teased lightly. “But I thought we might have something small, I could make us some pancakes.”

 

Ander shrugged and she could tell he was starting to feel a little agitated. It was hard, knowing what to do, what he needed her to do. Obviously food wasn’t the right thing at the moment. He was pulling back slowly, inching away from her and it hurt her that he was still so scared.

 

“It’s okay Anders,” she told him softly, stepping up to him carefully and slowly putting her arms around him. At first he stiffened, but then he relaxed and dropped his head to her shoulder.

 

After a moment he tightened the hug, then he let go and gave her a tiny smile.

 

“I wouldn’t mind making us some pancakes, but if you want to go to bed, that’s fine Anders,” she told him and he nodded. A quick arm around her and then he disappeared into the bedroom again.

 

Dawn was only too willing to give him all the time he needed, perhaps too much time. Michele however pushed him and would even bully him. She’d push him to face his fears, and there were times when he didn’t know who he hated the most. She for pushing him, himself for being such a coward or the bastards that had turned him into one.

 

The one thing Michele couldn’t bully him into was learning to speak again, he refused and he knew she did not understand why. He wasn’t sure if he could have explained it. It wasn’t just what they did to him, or knowing he’d sound like an idiot when first he tried. He could stick out his tongue, he could pull it back in and though his sense of taste was reduced he could use his tongue.

 

He just would not speak.

 

It was the questions about what had been done to him, all the things they still did not know. It was how they had demanded him to talk, and how he had been silent as he waited for rescue. It was how useless he felt and it was just too much for him, so he was still silent. He was still limping and his hand was clumsy. Michele wanted him to work on that, she kept pushing him to do exercises for his hand and he would nod his head, then ignore it.

 

His hand was clumsy and he couldn’t quite grip things properly and Michele had been really pissed about that. Though he placated her by actually braving to leave the house.

 

The first few times had been a living nightmare. He nearly panicked but both Michele and Dawn made sure he knew he was safe. Michele scowled at anyone who got too close and Dawn kept an arm around him.

 

They didn’t go far at first, only to the corner for a coffee, but it really did feel somewhat good to be outside again he decided. To feel the sunshine on his skin and breathe the fresh air. He enjoyed it and it became easier.

 

Once it was easier to go outside he took it one step further and went with her to the office.

  
The first time they didn’t stay long, he couldn’t stand it. He panicked and Dawn had to take him home, but in spite of spending the night tossing and turning with fear he made it clear he wanted to go with her the next day. This time he refused to give in, and though he could not always stay long, he always went back the next day.

 

He couldn’t speak to the clients, he allowed Dawn to handle that, but he was there for most of the work. When it all became too much for him, when he loathed himself for giving in he had ways of coping. The fear was something he couldn’t allow to take overhand over him, so he would fight it.

 

He had ways of fighting it down when it struggled to rise.

 

His father had forced him to be brave by punishing him for being weak.

 

He could do it himself now.

 

Please comment, the Cricket is hungry....


	10. chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

Dawn had gone to buy lunch for them and Anders had stayed behind at the office. Dawn had really been pleased about that, it was the first time he had stayed alone there, even if it was just for a short while. It worried her more than she wanted to admit that he still hadn’t attempted to speak, and that he refused to listen to any suggestion about speech therapy, or physical therapy for his hand. He still limped too, and sometimes stumbled. He wore clothes that hid how thin he had become, and clothes that hid the bruises. Michele thought that his body was simply healing at a slower rate due to the stress, but he had a lot of bruises all of a sudden. Bruises and small cuts visible when his sleeves slid up his wrists. It wasn’t much and Dawn tried not to worry too much about it but she couldn’t help worrying a little.

 

Entering the office again she saw him slightly hunched over by their file drawers, holding one hand with the other.

 

“Anders,” she called softly and he looked up. “Are you okay?” It’s not that she thinks he can’t handle being alone for that short of time, it’s just that there’s a slightly pained look on his face. Shrugging he removes his hand to show an angry red welt over the back of his fingers, motioning to the half open drawer with a slightly embarrassed look on his face. Catching his fingers in the drawer isn’t something she normally would have thought Anders would do, but everyone has bad days.

 

Putting the food down on the table she heads over to him, “let me see that.” Taking his hand gently she frowns when she realizes he must have pretty much have slammed the drawer shut because There is some deep bruising and swelling. A lot more than if he had just meant to close it. Certainly Anders too can get frustrated enough to slam a drawer, but it’s not really like him. He always used to be calm, even when he was angry. He might snap at you, but that was quite uncommon.

 

“What were you doing?” she asked as she examined it and he shrugged. “I don’t know Anders, I think maybe Michele should have a look at this. I don’t think you’ve broken anything, but it looks really quite bad.”

 

Anders shrugged and Dawn called Michele even if it was perhaps to overreact. His fingers were swollen though and it looked like he would have trouble using the hand, which meant he couldn’t really use either hand at the moment.

 

It was a couple of hours before Michele could come too, so Dawn urged him to take a mild painkiller and got an ice pack for his hand when it was clear that it bothered him.

 

Michele came later after work, declaring that there was nothing broken but that he should try not to use it for a couple of days. “I’ll bind it up for you, but that’s really only to keep you from using it,” she decided. “You need to be more careful Anders, and you really need to start doing some exercises with your other hand. If you had better control with it, I doubt this would have happened.”

 

Anders averted his eyes then, and she sighed. “At this point, I only want your best Anders. And I understand that it was traumatic for you. But don’t let it ruin the rest of your life. You need to start working on getting your shit back together, okay?”

 

He nodded, because he knew it was what she wanted him to do.

 

Dawn stepped closer, wanting to help him. “He’s getting a lot better. He stayed here alone while I got us lunch.”

 

“That is good,” Michele confirmed. “It’s a good step, but I really want you to start seeing the speech therapist. I know there’s a lot of damage, and it’s going to be hard for you. But you really have to do this Anders.”

 

Shaking his head he backed away from her, cradling his hand to his midsection. She just didn’t understand why it was he couldn’t, and how could she?

 

After all he couldn’t tell her.

 

“Anders, I still need to bind that up,” she started softly. “So try to relax now, okay?”

 

Still shaking his head he turned around to go back to his desk. He felt the sudden urge to get away from Michele, to get back where it was safe. He used to be safe in the office, it was his space where he was in control, but not anymore.

 

“Anders?” Michele called softly but he just shook his head harder. He wanted to get out of there, get home and he gave Dawn a pleading look.

 

“Let Michele take care of your hand Anders, and we can go home after,” Dawn urged him.

 

He didn’t want to, he couldn’t really stand to, but he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to pretend he did not know what she was doing.   
  
As soon as they got back to Dawn’s house he all but ran into the room that was his now. The curtains were still drawn and the room was partially dark, but it was good. He liked it that way. Sinking down on the floor with his back against the bed he drew a couple of deep shaky breaths.

 

Dawn didn’t come in after him and he was grateful as he put his injured hand on the floor. Straightening his fingers hurt, but he did it anyway.

 

The pain was punishment, for being so weak, so scared. His mum and dad had always punished him when he was little and showed the same weakness. His dad had been more physical about it while his mum had had different ideas. Such as throwing the stuffed dolphin Olaf gave him into the trash. He hadn’t meant to sleep with it, he knew he shouldn’t. Olaf had given it to him though, and the familiar smell of his cousin when he held it had been a great comfort. He hadn’t meant to sleep with it, but he had a nightmare and had fetched it just to hug it for awhile. Then he fell asleep and his mother found him with the dolphin in his arms in the morning. She took it instantly and threw it in the trash bin outside.

 

The whole day he waited and watched until he could sneak out and rescue it, but before he had the chance the garbage truck came to empty the bin, and that was the last he ever saw of the dolphin. A glimpse of it as it disappeared into the garbage truck.

 

His dad had punished him for being weak, and so had his mum, and now he had did it for himself.

 

He had been scared when Dawn left to get lunch, he had thought he could handle it but when he was alone all the sounds started getting to him.

 

He didn’t want to be weak, so he had to make himself stop.

 

Now he was displaying that same weakness again, so he placed his hand flat on the floor and placed the heel of his shoe on it, pressing down.

 

TBC

 

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	11. chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

Dawn could tell that something was wrong, but she did not know what. While Anders appeared much improved in some areas, he seemed to be worse in others. What worried her the most was that the bruises kept increasing. They were also more visible but she never saw how he came to hurt himself so often. He would just shrug and give her that embarrassed smile that hinted that he had been clumsy. 

 

There was a cut and a bruise high on his cheek one morning, even if he smiled at her. The limp was suddenly more prominent when she got back to the office after a meeting.

 

On the other hand she was so very proud of him. He really was functioning more normally and would even help her cook. At first she was surprised that he was actually quite good at it but then she remembered that Ty had once told her that Anders was really quite good, though also somewhat accident prone in the kitchen. He’d laughingly declared that when Anders cooked, you either got a great meal, or a trip to the emergency room. There was no way of telling what it would be in advance though.

 

She could believe it though when she saw him. She had been worried that he wouldn’t be quite up to it, but since Michele wanted him to use his hand more normally, and he was when he was cooking she had allowed it. Anders did appear to be very careful but still cut himself while he was slicing the cucumber for the salad. She’d been stirring the pot on the stove when she heard him draw a sharp breath and turned around to see blood trickle from the cut.

 

“Oh, Anders,” turning the pot down to simmer she turned around to inspect it. It was not very deep and the bleeding soon stopped so she simply found him a band aid to cover it.

 

What really worried her was that Anders was injuring himself more and more frequently. Michele had to give him a couple of stitches because he caught his eyebrow with the cupboard door he was opening. He touched his arm against the hot pot on the stove, and he spilled boiling water on himself when he made tea.

 

She got him to lie down on the couch so that she could put a cold compress on his leg where the water had left an angry red burn. He looked sad and ashamed though she did not really understand why. She could certainly imagine that it would hurt. It looked nasty. She just couldn’t see why he would look ashamed.

 

“You really need to try to be more careful Anders,” she urged him. “That could have been a lot more serious.” She’d seen him stumble and the pot he was holding waver so that the water ran over and spilled down his leg. If it hadn’t been for the sweat pants he wore being so lose fitting she was sure the burn would have been worse. Apparently he had been shocked too she thought, for at first he had just stood there and she had to urge him to take the sweat pants off. The soaked leg was clinging to his skin. She couldn’t tell if it was first or second degree, but it didn’t look serious enough to call Michele for. An angry red area between his knee and ankle, with one or two small blisters forming.

 

Soaking a tea towel in cold water she folded it up and placed it over the burn before she went to finish making the tea. Pouring it and putting his mug on the coffee table she moved the plate with biscuits closer to him. Fighting down the urge to tell him to be careful with the mug.

 

The whole thing went so far she really worried about leaving him alone. Every time she returned there was suddenly a new cut or a bruise. All of it things where he was just clumsy and she couldn’t understand it. He sat on the edge of the table and turned his ankle getting down. It was so completely uncharacteristic of Anders who would normally be quite graceful.

 

She truly could not understand it at all.

 

Until she returned earlier from a meeting, having finished in a hurry because yes, she was worried about him being alone. With his luck lately she half expected him to have electrocuted himself with the coffee machine.

 

She opened the door and headed in, turning to close it when she saw him out of the corner of her eye and turned around. He had taken off his shoes earlier that morning when she urged him to lie down and rest. He still hadn’t put them back on and only wore his socks on his feet. He obviously hadn’t seen she was back either, but he turned towards the blackboard wall to write something, knocking down a glass from the table with his elbow as he turned. Dawn heard it break and frowned, about to say something when she saw the look on his face change. He had given a small start when he heard the glass shatter behind him, and now he frowned. Then he slowly raised one foot and took a slow deliberate step backwards. He winced as the broken shards sliced into his foot but still finished the step backwards until he had his full weight on the foot.

 

Dawn raised her hands to her mouth, swallowing hard.

 

There was no mistaking it, she knew what she had seen, it was deliberate. He hadn’t looked down on the glass, but he had heard it, he knew it was there, and yet he took a step back onto the shards.

 

It had been deliberate and she felt sick as she backed out of the door again. Leaning against the wall she took several deep breaths, but it did not help. She couldn’t understand why Anders would hurt himself.

 

He had never shown any inclination to do anything such before, but now she suddenly saw it all in a new light. All of the cuts, bruises and burns, all of it things because he had been clumsy and suddenly she was wondering if he had wanted to be clumsy. It would be so easy for him. All he had to do was purposely look away as he turned by the stove and he knew he would touch his arm to the pot. Allow himself to be distracted as he held the knife, and just simply stand too close as he opened a cupboard door.

 

She couldn’t understand why he was doing it, but it was pretty clear that it was what he was doing.

 

Heading out onto the street she pulled out her phone to dial Michele, then changed her mind. Michele could take care of the cuts, but this time she doubted it would be enough. They needed to address this problem, and that now, and she didn’t care what she would have to do to fix it.

 

She wasn’t surprised to find them almost all of them at Mike’s place. Ty and Olaf tended to both spend a lot of time there, though Axl was missing. Mike looked up as she entered and Michele frowned. Dawn had avoided them all, which made her think that something was wrong.

 

Mike too apparently drew that conclusion. “What happened?” he demanded.

 

“Anders,” she started. She still hadn’t been able to work it out in her head. “Something’s wrong, he’s…”

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Mike instantly leapt to his feet and Ty followed suit.

 

Drawing a deep breath Dawn tried to explain it, “lately he’s been somewhat better, but he’s been hurting himself a lot.”

 

“I know, Michele told us,” Mike nodded.

 

“And I think he’s doing it on purpose,” she mumbled. “He is doing it on purpose. I saw him now, he, he didn’t know I was there. He turned around and knocked down a glass, I, I think that was an accident. But then, then afterwards he took a step back, onto the glass shards. He knew they were there. He wasn’t looking at them or anything, but he knew they were there, and he still stepped back. He knew he’d cut himself on the glass, he must have known, but he still did it.”

 

“Fucks sake!” Mike cursed while Ty looked baffled.

 

“Why would he do that?” he demanded, looking to his older brother while Olaf dropped his head to the bar and Michele simply cursed.

 

“How bad did he cut himself?” she wanted to know.

 

“I don’t know, I couldn’t face it,” she admitted. “Walk in there and pretend I hadn’t seen it? I couldn’t do that.”

 

“I can’t believe Anders would do something like that,” Ty objected. “He’s not the type.”

 

“Anders is a fucking mess,” Michele informed him coldly. “He still haven’t been able to get his shit back together and that means we can expect just about anything.”

 

“But it’s crazy,” Ty objected. Unable to imagine Anders doing something that he associated with messed up teenagers.

 

“You are really sure?” Mike cut in, directing the question to Dawn.

 

“Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. He needs help, before he hurts himself again, before he does something serious, and I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Alright,” Mike forced himself to keep calm even if it was hard when he thought about Anders. “Michele, can you go make sure he’s okay?”

 

“Sure,” she nodded. “I’ll take care of it.”

 

“And don’t let him know we know,” Mike urged her. “Try make it like you’re only passing by.”

 

“I will,” she agreed. “If Dawn was delayed she’d ask me to drop by. He won’t figure it out.”

 

“Good,” turning back to the bar Mike poured Dawn a drink, having a feeling that she could use it. She took it gratefully and sipped it slowly.

 

“Has he ever done anything like that before?” she asked. “I mean, I never thought he would. He’s the last person I would think could do something like that, but he is. I saw him do it. He knew what he was doing, he wasn’t looking to see exactly where the glass was, he was looking away from it, but he knew. I swear he knew.”

 

“I don’t doubt it,” Mike agreed. “Like Michele said, he’s a mess. We’ll have to expect just about everything when it comes to him right now.”

 

“But Anders is not some fucked up ‘emo’ kid,” Ty burst out. “He’s not, he hates that shit. You know he does Mike.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed. “But you know what torture can do to someone Ty. He still isn’t talking, and won’t even see us, and that should tell you something.”

 

“But how do we make him stop?” Dawn demanded.

 

“I don’t know,” Mike admitted. “But we really have to see him. We can’t help at all if we can’t see him. And it’s pretty clear this isn’t working.

 

Ty turned to his brother, “you know him best Mike, did he ever, I mean, ever do anything like it when he was a kid?”

 

“Not really,” he shook his head. “He did a lot of stupid shit, but we’re talking self harm here. That was never his thing. He did attention getting, but never shit like that. Anyway, it wouldn’t have worked given how mum and dad were.”

 

“I couldn’t remember anything either,” Ty admitted.

 

“I’m going back with you, when Michele has patched him up,” Mike told Dawn firmly. “And I don’t care if he doesn’t want to see us or not.”

 

Dawn nodded, she had only wanted to help Anders, but he needed more help than she could give.

 

 

 TBC

 

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	12. chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

Anders was on the couch in the office when Michele entered and she had to remind herself she couldn’t just walk up to him and demand to see the injury.

 

“Hey Anders, Dawn got delayed, so I thought I’d come by and see if you wanted some company and maybe something to eat,” she smiled sweetly. She watched him closely, he looked decidedly nervous. He hid it quite well, but she was getting good at reading the signs. He couldn’t even meet her eye but looked down instead.

 

“Taking it easy?” she asked innocently and watched as he bit his lip. He was half curled up on the couch, his feet pulled up with the soles against the back of the couch. With the dark socks he had on she could not see if there was any blood or even holes. She had a sneaky suspicion he was doing that on purpose. She could work around it though, sitting down beside him so that she made sure to bump his feet. A small gasp escaped him when she did so and inwards she smiled. “Is something wrong Anders?”

 

He avoided her eyes, but now she had something to work with. Shifting around as if to face him she allowed her elbow to hit his feet, normally it wouldn’t bother anyone, but now he winced. “Is something wrong with your foot?” she pressed on in a perfectly innocent tone of voice and he gave a small nod when he knew he could not hide it anymore.

 

“Well, let me take a look then, which one?” Lifting his feet by the ankles she saw the holes in the sock, the bloodstains on his foot and something that glimmered in one of the cuts. Lifting his foot into her lap she frowned. “What happened Anders? It looks like you stepped on some glass or something.”

 

He nodded again, motioning to a coffee mug on the table, and making a gesture as if he accidentally knocked it over.

 

“And you didn’t see it in time huh,” she mused. “Well, I’m sure it was an accident.”

 

He averted his eyes at that and she smiled. If he felt guilty for doing it, she’d continue to jab at that guilt. “I need to take care of it though. It looks like you’ve got a piece of glass still in it. So you just stay where you are while I get something so I can get it out.” She got up and went to find the small first aid kit Dawn kept in the office bathroom. It wasn’t the best equipped, but it would have to do.

 

She cleaned the cuts first, noting they were deep. If it had been an accident they probably wouldn’t have been so deep, because then he would have lifted his foot again as soon as he felt the glass cut into his foot.

 

“It’s nasty Anders, I would have liked to stitch it, but then we have to go to the hospital. I don’t have anything so I can stitch it here. I’ll have to make do with the strips.” The sterile strips were pretty good, they held the wound closed effectively.

 

Anders was just nodding to whatever she said, not really listening. After she was finished Michele wrapped a bandage around his foot, even with the strips holding the cuts closed they might still bleed a little and a bandage would keep it clean better than a dirty and blood stained sock. She also urged him to keep it elevated before she rose.

 

That was when the door to the office opened and Mike came in.

 

Anders froze when he saw his brother, and Michele watched him closely.

 

“Hey Anders,” Mike walked into the room slowly. “I don’t know if you’re ready to see us yet or not, but I think this has gone on long enough. We screwed up, I’ll give you that, but it’s time to start to sort things out.”

 

Mike could see how Anders gave up and resigned himself to his fate. His shoulders slumped even further and he hung his head.

 

“What happened to your foot?” Mike asked as he stepped closer. The bandage was clearly visible so Anders couldn’t be surprised he knew.

 

“He broke a glass and stepped on the pieces,” Michele put in, purposely leaving out the word ‘accidentally.’

 

“You okay bro?” Mike stepped closer and Anders ducked his head. “What’s wrong?” he crouched down in front of Anders, not too close, but close enough. “Something’s up, huh?” he nudged and Anders to Michele’s surprise nodded.

 

“I thought as much,” Mike mused, reaching out his hand slowly to put it on Anders shoulder. He let it just rest there for a moment, then rubbed his thumb in small circles. “I imagine it was something pretty stupid,” Mike goes on. “We should have helped you before Anders, we didn’t realize and we were dicks. We should have realized something had happened to you, and none of us blame you for being pissed about it. This time though, we are here, and we want to help, so this time it’s up to you. Not much we can do if you won’t let us know what the problem is. If you let us, I’m sure we can sort it out, and then we can move on to how we failed you, and see if we can’t work that out. But right now, what is happening now is the important thing, okay?”

 

Anders gave a small nod, pulling himself up to sitting and Michele watched curiously. Mike and Anders could get into some spectacular fights, and she had seen all three of them try to punch out Anders at times. Axl was the only one who had killed the short man though, even if there had been a time or two where she really found herself wondering how they had managed to avoid it for so long. This was something she had not seen a lot of between the brothers. There was a tenderness that she had not thought they were capable off.

 

“We need to get you some paper, so you can tell me what’s going on,” Mike stated but Anders shook his head. He appeared quite agitated and Michele stepped closer.

 

“Because you’re still pissed at us, or because you’re still so messed up you can’t make sense of it?” Mike wanted to know and Anders who suddenly looked relieved held up two fingers.

 

“Guessing game then,” he oldest brother mused and Anders gave a tiny nod and dropped his head. “And you’re scared of me finding out. I can understand that, seeing as how I already know it must be pretty bad.”

 

Anders confirmed this with another nod.

 

“And that’s why you won’t try to talk, because then you’ll have to explain,” Mike continued on. “And, because you’re scared you won’t be able to, and it’s easier not to try,” he knew it now that it was a guessing game. “You have to try Anders. Michele is sure you’ll be able to, even if it’ll be hard at first. But the longer you wait the harder it will be.”

 

Anders wrapped his arms around himself, and then he did something Mike hadn’t expected. He touched his injured foot, making it clear Mike should stop what he was doing and put his attention to that problem.

 

Mike focused on it, and burst out into a string of curses.

 

TBC   
  
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	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 

Michele watched curiously while Anders ducked his head.

 

“Okay, what’s going on?” Michele demanded. She was worried about what Mike’s apparent anger would do to Anders.

 

“He has been doing it to himself,” Mike stated. “All the things Dawn was talking about. He’s been doing it himself.”

 

“Why the fuck would he do that?” she frowned.

 

“It’s complicated,” Mike sighed. “One part though is mum and dad, and Anders, how the fuck can you figure that made sense? Dad abandoned us, and he was fucking abusive, why would you listen to anything the bastard had to say? And mum really wasn’t any better, so why?”

 

Anders shrugged and Mike sighed.

 

“I’d expect this kind of stupidity from Axl, not from you. And he wouldn’t do it either. For fucks sake Anders, didn’t those bastards hurt you enough? Now you’re out to finish the job yourself. It doesn’t make sense.”

 

Anders pulled his knee up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his leg and dropping his head so he wouldn’t have to look at Mike.

 

“That’s enough,” Michele cut in. “You’re not helping Mike.”

 

Nodding to himself he took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down. “We’ll sort it out Anders, we’ll help you to work it out, but no more okay? You can’t do it again, alright?”

 

There was no response at all from his brother and he sighed. “I’ll explain it to the others, so you don’t have to worry about that. But how about going back with us now?

 

Anders shook his head and Mike wasn’t really surprised.

 

“We need to talk this through bro, and you really should be along for it. We’re gonna help you, we’ll sort it out Anders.” He squeezed his shoulder gently and Anders at least allowed it. “For now I have to tell the others though. Who do you want here with you while we talk it over?”

 

“That should probably be me,” Michele decided. “You can fill me in afterwards, and right now I think he needs something to eat and then some rest.”

 

“I’ll get something before I get back to the others then,” Mike decided. “What would you like Anders?”

 

Anders shrugged and Mike nodded, giving his shoulder a last gentle squeeze before he stood and headed for the door.

 

Anders refused to look up at Dawn while they waited, he had curled himself up into a tight ball on the couch, his injured foot stretched out but otherwise curled in tightly on himself. Michele sat on the couch next to him, but with some space between them. Finally she dropped her hand on his ankle and noticed how he jumped slightly.

 

Mike returned, entering and gritting his teeth as he looked at Anders. “Okay, here you go bro, I’ve got you some Chinese.” He put the carton down on the table in front of Anders, then crouched down. “You gonna be okay here?”

 

Anders gave a tiny nod even though he had not looked up and Mike did something very unusual, he put an arm around his shoulders in a quick hug. “I’ll go tell the others, but I’ll come back here later Anders, okay?”

 

Another tiny nod and as he left Anders uncurled and sat up a little more. He kept his legs pulled up and pressed into the couch, but he looked at the table where Mike had placed the food. It was an odd selection Michele thought. The Chinese takeaway wasn’t strange and she knew Anders ate things like it quite often. Mike had however also left what looked like a milkshake and a cup of chocolate dessert pudding with white cream topping.

 

Anders looking at it appeared to even be interested in the meal so Michele hurried to get him a fork, and a spoon for the pudding. He didn’t eat very much, but when he was done he held the carton out to Michele who shook her head.

 

“I can put it in the fridge,” she offered and he nodded as he reached for the pudding cup. That he finished before he stretched out on the couch, giving a small shiver. Looking around the office Michele managed to find a light blanket that she handed him. Anders took it and draped it over himself as he laid down on the couch, sipping the milkshake from time to time until he fell asleep.

 

When Mike got back to the others they looked at him expectantly, Dawn standing. “Well, what’s going on?” she demanded.

 

“Anders has been doing it to himself,” he sighed. “All of it, all those small injuries. He’s been doing it pretty much intentionally.”

 

“But he wouldn’t do that,” Ty breathed. “He’s not the type to do shit like that.”

 

“He’s not, and he is,” Mike sighed. “Normally he’s not, but this time, yeah, he is.”

 

“Anders is complex,” Olaf put in and Mike nodded.

 

“There’s a lot of stuff going on Ty, and he’s a mess. Obviously he did not really tell me anything, but at the same he told me all of it. Turned it into a guessing game, so I know.”

 

“How would that let you know?” Dawn asked and Mike cursed himself for letting it slip.

 

“It’s an old thing between Anders and me,” he hurries to cover it up. “And that’s not what’s important, but this is. He really needs help to sort it out. A part of it is the feeling he has to punish himself for being weak.”

 

“He’s not weak, who told him he was weak?” Dawn demanded.

 

“Mum and dad,” Ty sighed.

 

“Oh yes,” Mike confirmed. “They’re gone, but they’re still here screwing him up. He has a nightmare, he’s weak, so he punishes himself. By slamming his fingers in a drawer or some stupid shit like that.”

 

“What did your parents do to him?” Dawn demanded. “That doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Dad thought Anders was weak,” Mike tried to explain. “And yeah, he was, sort of. Always so fucking small, catching sick all the time and he’d cry and whine and had a hell of a lot of nightmares. Dad didn’t appreciate that, thought he could toughen him up, so if Anders showed a weakness, they would punish him.

 

Dawn started pacing, she couldn’t help herself, “that’s insane.”

 

“Yeah, it is actually,” Mike confirmed. “And it’s the way it is right now. He was tortured and he thinks that makes him weak, so now he’s making it all worse. But there is more to it than that. It’s guilt too, guilt for not being better, for not being able to get away. And, to some small extent it’s also to punish us, for not realizing he was missing. But that’s probably the smallest part of this shit.”

 

“It’s still a lot of shit to deal with,” Ty sighed. “It’s going to be tough.”

 

“I told him he couldn’t do it anymore,” Mike confirmed. “But saying that is pretty much like telling the tide it won’t come in and expect it to obey. He’ll do it, and then he’ll probably feel so guilty about it he does it again.”

 

“We can’t let that happen,” Dawn urged.

 

“No,” Mike agreed. “So from now on Anders is going to be under watch, and if we have to pound the truth into his thick skull we will. But as far as I’m concerned all that shit ends now. No more of him injuring himself, no more of him keeping away from us. It’s not working, it’s enough so we’re going to do something about it. I told him about as much, and at least that part seemed to get through to him. But now we have to show him that we’re still brothers.”

 

“Do we have a plan?” Ty wanted to know.

 

“Only one,” Mike decided. “We were shitty brothers then, we were a pretty messed up family. The plan is to change that, be better brothers, a better family.”

 

“Easier said than done,” Ty mused. “But it makes sense I guess.”

 

“I’m going to have to fill in Axl too, and I’ve already been there, so how about you heading over?” Mike wanted to know. “I think one of us should try to be there at all times. This will be too much for Dawn to handle on her own.”

 

“And if we’re going to be better brothers, we need to be there for him,” Ty finished. “Yeah, I’ll go with you Dawn.”

 

“Good, then I’d like to get back, now please,” she decided. “I’m, well, worried about him.”

 

Ty nodded, going with her as Mike prepared himself for telling Axl.

 

 TBC

 

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	14. chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

When Dawn and Ty got back Anders was dozing on the couch, curled up with a blanket over him. He opened his eyes as they came into the room, but then when he saw who it was he closed them again and turned his head on the pillow.

 

“Hey Anders,” Ty greeted him softly.

 

Again Anders opened his eyes, biting his lip as he slowly focused on Ty, then he allowed his eyelids to drop closed again.

 

“He’s exhausted, he really should get home and rest,” Michele muses as she nods to them. “At least he ate some.”

 

“That’s good, that’s great,” Ty decided. He crouched beside the couch. Anders lying there with his eyes closed looked much younger and more vulnerable. There was a light flush to his cheeks as if he had a fever. “Hey bro,” he called softly.

 

Anders didn’t stir, which really said a lot more than Dawn probably realized. His lack of response said that he had not yet forgiven Ty, that he did not really want him there and that he was not ready to make peace with his brothers.

  
The fact that his eyes were closed said that he was willing to trust them, at least so far as not to hurt him.

 

“I think Michele is right, you could use some proper rest, want to head back?” Ty asked and Anders shifted, burrowing his face into the pillow.

 

It meant Ty would have to work for it, so he put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on Anders, I bet you’ll be a lot more comfortable in bed.”

 

Anders opened his eyes, and Ty met his gaze. There was a mistrust in his look, a question that was Anders asking himself if it was really safe to trust Ty.

 

“I’m sorry Anders, I know it doesn’t count for shit, but you have no idea how sorry I am…” Ty told him softly. “Right now though, I just want to try to make it better, and I don’t care what it is I have to do. I’d do anything, anything at all.”

 

“You can start with helping him home,” Michele decided. “He shouldn’t walk on that foot you know. Some of those cuts are pretty deep. I really would prefer to stitch them, so I think I might go by the hospital and pick up some supplies.”

 

“Okay,” Ty nodded. “I’ll be careful Anders, and if, if you’re too uncomfortable with it, let me know, okay?”

 

Anders looked at him, guardedly, but he sat up and slipped his good foot to the floor. He allowed Ty to help him stand, and put his arm around his shoulder. He didn’t like being so close to him, it made him nervous, but at the same time it was familiar.

 

Ty helped him outside, but outside of the comfortable surroundings of his office he found it harder. Eyeing Ty he put his injured foot down on the ground, a sharp stab of pain shooting up his leg.

 

“No Anders, don’t do that,” Ty urged. “I know this is probably not the most comfortable for you, but don’t try to walk on it. I don’t want you to hurt yourself worse now.” He felt Anders stiffen and tightened his hold just a little. “It’s okay Anders, we’re almost to the car.”

 

Dawn opened the car door and Ty helped Anders into the seat, closing the door carefully. Anders allowed him to help him into the house, but then pulled away. He looked around himself as if he was wondering where he would be safe.

 

“If Michele is going to stitch those cuts, I think the couch is better,” Dawn stated. “If you let Ty help you there, I’ll put some tea on.”

 

Anders shook his head though, pulling away when Ty approached. His back was pressed against the wall and he managed to inch sideways even if his foot wouldn’t support his weight.

 

Ty gave him a sad look but kept his distance. He didn’t want to push himself on his brother. Then he saw him lose his balance and instinctively leapt forward. He managed to grab Anders around the waist to keep him from falling and he felt his brother stiffen with a gasp.

 

“It’s okay Anders, I’m just going to help you to the couch,” Ty told him. “I don’t think you can make it on your own bro, just going to give you a hand.” He meant his words to be soothing but Anders was stiff, rigid, and then he tried to wriggle free.

 

Ty held on just long enough to ease him down on the couch rather than letting him fall, then he backed away as Anders inhaled sharply.

 

“There you go,” he said softly, sitting down in an armchair close by but not too close. He watched sadly as Anders wrapped his arms around himself.

 

“Anders?” his voice was soft and quiet but his brother looked up. “Are you this scared of me actually hurting you, or just of me not being there to help you if you need it?”

 

Anders swallowed, not looking at him, then he turned around on the couch, pulling up his good leg and turning his back to Ty he leaned against the back of the couch, keeping his arms tightly around himself as he pressed against the couch.

 

Dawn came with three cups of tea, but Anders didn’t touch his. When Michele approached he gave a small start, clearly showing how nervous he was.

 

“I couldn’t get anything to numb it,” Michele apologized. “So it’s going to hurt some Anders, but I’ll be as careful as I can and we need to do this.” She hadn’t really tried to get anything, but Anders didn’t need to know that. He really needed to learn to trust them again, it was time. She hadn’t tried to get anything to give him for the pain because she wanted him to turn to them for the support he needed.

 

It didn’t take her long to prepare it either, a towel under his foot to protect the couch, Anders on his stomach to give her better access and Dawn to help keep him focused. She made Ty hold his foot, with the excuse he needed to hold it still which would be hard. Hopefully Anders would see that Ty was helping him.

 

As soon as she started Anders broke out into a cold sweat, gritting his teeth as the needle pierced his skin but he trusted Michele and he trusted Dawn. Ty held his foot steady but also kept talking to him, keeping his attention away from what Michele was doing.

 

He did not really realize when it was over. Suddenly Ty was just in front of his face, a small smile on his lips. “There you go, I’m gonna give you a hand to bed now.”

 

Anders tried to stand, but was shaky and Ty had to steady him. He tried another hobbling step but for some reason found himself lightheaded.

 

“You’re not going to make it Anders,” Ty sighed. “I don’t know if you’re really ready for this, but you need to be in bed, and I can’t let you fall bro.” He slipped one arm behind his back and the other under his knees, and Anders froze as he lifted him. It wasn’t easy, and Anders was just so much dead weight as he was stiff with fear. He would never have been able to do the same with either Mike or Axl, but Anders was just small enough to be manageable. He had also lost a lot of weight so he wasn’t as heavy as he should be.

He put him down on the bed and Anders scooted away from him.

 

“I don’t know what you think I will or will not do Anders, but I would never hurt you intentionally. You’ve got to know that.”

 

To his absolute horror Anders shook his head.

 

 TBC

 

Please comment, the Cricket is hungry.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. chapter 15

Chapter 15

 

Ty slept on the couch, since Michele declared Anders couldn’t walk and Ty was better suited to helping him.

 

Anders was determined not to need help, and tried to hobble to the bathroom on his own but nearly fell and suddenly Ty was there, catching him. His brother didn’t say a word, just helped him there and back again. He only got as close as he had to, and stepped back as soon as Anders didn’t need him anymore.

  
The next day Mike was there, doing the same. Axl came during the day, but then Ty was there for the night and Anders thought it made sense. They were trying to prove a point, and that wasn’t Axl’s strong suit. He refused to listen to them though, it was a point he did not want to see.

 

He just had no choice.

 

He woke from a nightmare, drenched in sweat and so terrified he couldn’t even breath properly. He had been back with them, captured and tortured and it had been so real. He looked around himself frantically, literally unable to steady his breathing and he was getting lightheaded from the ineffective way he was gasping for air and still not getting any.

 

Then suddenly someone had him, he was jerked upwards and gasped at the surprise, his breath coming a little easier and he was able to realize that whoever had him was not one of this tormentors. He had a strong grip, but it was protective and Anders pressed against him. Tried to burry himself against the strong warm chest.

 

“Just a nightmare Ands,” Mike’s soft voice came through the haze. “They can’t touch you anymore.”

 

He threw out his hand and clutched at Mike, pressing close and refusing to let go. He thought Mike would have pushed him away, been angry, but his brother did not. Instead he was holding him.

 

It wasn’t so much what Mike was saying to him, as the way he was holding him, guarding him. He felt safe, for the first time since they had taken him he really felt safe. When he was ready to pull away and looked up at his brother cautiously there was no scorn in his eyes. There was understanding and compassion, but no disgust.

 

“You okay now?” Mike asked softly. “You should probably get some more sleep if you can. I’ll stay here if you want me to.”

 

Anders nodded softly, he felt safe and supported. What had been missing before was back. He was safe, truly safe, and he could see that Mike would never willingly let anyone harm him like that again. It had been a mistake, a fucking huge one as far as mistakes went, but a mistake. The conflict between them had driven them apart to the point where one of them could be taken from the others, and he had to admit to himself he might not have known if it was one of them.

 

It was over though, and it was time to put it behind him.

 

It wouldn’t be easy but he would have to do it, and now he knew that Mike, Ty and Axl would all be behind him every step on the road. He’d have to fight, and he had never been much of a fighter. They wouldn’t let him fail though, and there was comfort and strength in that thought.

 

It allowed him to find his courage and he knew he would need it.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Mike asked, expecting a nod or a shake of the head.

 

“Ea’” Anders struggled to shape the word, it was a struggle, but it was also a victory.

  
The End

 Thank you all for reading, please comment, the Cricket is hungry... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Aramirandme81 who encouraged me, inspired me, and stood with me. 
> 
> Credit to you Meldir nin, at the end of this that would not have been without you.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who has not read the other, earlier reply to this challenge, I strongly recommend you do so as it is a very great story. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, please leave a review, the Cricket is hungry....


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